Bonaventure Cemetary was established in 1794 as a family burial blot on a Southern Plantation. It became public over 100 years ago and is known for it's majestic oak trees, ornate grave markers and shrines, views and who is buried there. Tourists flock to it and there is a Savannah tradition to take a bottle of wine and sit on the bench beside poet Conrad Aiken's grave.
All lovely things will have an ending
All lovely things will fade and die
And youth, that is now so bravely spending
Will beg a penny and by
Conrad was never known for his humor.
I travel there today to bury my cousing Rick. I'll don the black robe and oversee a brief graveside service. It will mostly be family. A formal service was held in Birmingham a couple of days ago and a couple of hundred people celebrated his life. Today we will say goodbye and send him off with tears. He will raise from the dead as we leave and occupy a piece of each of our hearts from here on out.
Rick suffered from M.S. for the last half of his life. He lost his control of his body and he was confined to a wheelchair. His speech became slurred and slow and very dilberate. His wife divorced him after his sickness became dominate and his last year's were in an assisted living facility. He was one month younger than me.
He was an amazing man though. He never lost his love for life. He delighted in it, perhaps because he knew that he was losing a little of it every day. Who knows?
But he laughed often and loved it when he was with others. The last few years we tried to stay in touch over email but his fingers never allowed him to respond to whatever I wrote.
But it is that love of life, in spite of suffering that I will never forget. He had the incredible misfortune of being raised an Auburn fan and loved to rag me when they beat my beloved Dawgs of Georgia. And as much as I hated losing to Auburn I could not help but laugh with Rick as he delighted in his victory. He exuberted joy and he made it contagious.
I loved him.
Life is not always fair, is it? 53 is too young to die and leave children who are still growing up behind. M.S. is a horrible thing that no one deserves. Living your life knowing that you are losing a little of it with each passing second has got to be a terrible burden.
But Rick smiled and laughed and held on to his life fiercely. He appreciated it much more than most of us do. So...he left a lot of gifts. Children for sure to contribute to what this world is. An example of how to go about approaching every day as though it is our last. He was grace personified.
And I will cry a bit, and toast him later with Goddess on Shirely's sad little holy dock, and thank him for teaching me how this life is to be lived.
