I don't go to the North End anymore.
It's about two miles away.
That's too far.
And people who live on the North End will testify they rarely come to the South End because ... it's too far.
Let me confess I love to travel and am ready to go now ... The Caribbean, South America, Europe, many cities across America, the Ivory Coast of Africa and of course to see Joey and Bill in Key West ... but not the North End of the island Sarah and I live on.
"Why?" you ask?
I'll tell you why ... it's too far.
There's lots of cops over there ... the new City Hall/Courthouse/Jail/Government-Money-Making Industry is on the North End and I don't like it one bit.
I think all City Council meetings should be held on the Beach.
That way, City Council is forever reminded of why everybody's here in the first place and the meetings would be a lot shorter.
It's too damn hot in the Summer and too damn cold in the winter to have a City Council meeting on the Beach ... so it'll create less Government right off the bat.
I think all Judicial proceedings should be held on the beach so the Judge in a black robe can sweat his ass off for once.
You take Government indoors and look what happens ... they want nicer buildings ... named after politicians ... and they have to pay for it ... which is where fees and fines come in ... so to ensure collections "Parking Services" (an oxymoron) and the Police Department are given carte blanche authority over everybody ... except the Government.
I've been to the North End.
It's nice.
We have dear friends who live over there.
There's a nice Lighthouse ... some fine restaurants ... an old fort ... a soft ball field and the American Legion.
The South End has prettier beaches ... the Back River ... four Churches with stained glass and one with no windows ... "The Breakfast Club" ... "Doc's Bar" ... and the Pier.
There's less Government on the South End but far more arrests.
I'm pondering succession.
They can have everything from 11th Street North on ... we'll take 13th Street South ... Tybee Market will be a neutral zone where everybody can pretend to be nice while buying groceries.
The Post Office is on the North End ... so they've have to deliver mail to the South End and the Northerners can continue to pick theirs up ... or they can just leave it at Tybee Market and we'll get it there.
There is a liquor store at both ends so there's no problem there.
The South End should be left alone to market the South End ... with "Clothing Optional Beaches" ... "Belly Flops off the Pier Competitions" ... and Fannie's on the Beach can bring back the "The Best Buns on the Beach competition."
Speaking of which, Jenny Orr owns both "Fannie's On the Beach" and Marlin "Monroe's" ... one's at the south end and the other on the north end ... when disputes occur I think we should just let Jenny decide what's best.
I think it's an idea who's time has come.
