The lighting of the Christmas Tree was wonderful last night. We gathered around a tree that looks like a big old bush decorated with beach balls and counted down in unison ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1!
Nothing.
It remained as dark as the night.
Kids moaned. Adults took another sip.
"Do it again!" Billy ordered everyone. He was wearing a red sweater and a Santa hat and appeared to be the closest thing to an authority figure present. The Tybee Island Police Department were all busy inspecting the crowd making certain that Goddess and Winston, the little gay dog, weren't present as they've had skirmishes with the law.
Because Billy was wearing red and looked like Santa after a couple too many ... plus he taught choir to most of the kids on the island ... everybody did it again.
5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1!
And someone plugged the bush with the balls beating on it in the breeze and ... it was right out of a Frankenstein movie ... the lights blinked on and off ... the crowd held our breath ... would it work? ... would it not? ... the only sound was the psssffftt of the lights blinking on followed by the psssfffttt of the lights going off.
While this was happening I sneaked into Doc's Bar where Frank Shuman's birthday was being held to refill my wine. Frank died a few months ago but the island loves him still and just because he can't be here is no reason to not celebrate the fact that he was here ... it's kind of like Christmas.
There was a swell party going on but I didn't want Sarah to know I'd left at all while she and the girls, D-Luv, Sean and Wen, Glen and Vickie, Johnny O and Judy O, Jodee and Cheryl were all standing there breathing in and out with the lights ....
psssffft ..... psssffftt ... blink on ... blink off ...
No one noticed I'd gone to celebrate Frank's birthday.
I took a sip and half the lights came on and stayed on. That was enough excitement for the crowd. They all cheered and walked away while Wanda proclaimed that she was sorry that the Mayor couldn't be there and she had to be.
For the most part nobody showed up for the funky Christmas beginnings on Tybee Island. The Tybee Island Police Department was out in force, blocking the road off in both directions, feverishly searching for Goddess and Winston, the little gay dog. Jodee was wailing the blues, Johnny was beating his drum, and Cheryl was flipping the finger.
The girls were getting their faces painted.
The Tybee Island Police Department gave up their search for Goddess and Winston, the little gay dog, and opened up traffic on the street. It was immediately worse than any Orange Crush (my personal favorite Tybee parade) I've ever witnessed.
So that's how a funky Christmas begins on this island.
It continues today a parade.
I wonder if Frank's party is still happening?
I wonder what Johnny O is beating off now?
There's a rumor that Jenny O shot somebody at Fannie's on the Beach last night.
Who knows?
Ho Ho Ho.
