The sliding glass door is open and I stare outside ... waiting ... searching ... emptying ... maybe praying.
The first few hours have productive ... some editing, marketing, planning ... coupled with fixing breakfast for Sarah and spoiling our furry ones.
Now there's lull.
It's like being on a sailboat when there's no wind.
I've got to wait it out.
It's something I've learned to accept.
I used to be one who ... when the winds weren't blowing in my direction ... filling my sails ... taking me to where I want to go ... would huff and puff blowing air ... as though I can do it alone.
I love the image.
Life's at a standstill ... nothing's happening ... I'm making absolutely no progress getting to where I want ... in my little boat of life ... the winds aren't blowing in my direction ... so I arrogantly stand up and blow in the sails ... thinking I can do it all by myself.
The truth is no body does anything by themselves.
It's a lie John Wayne made up.
You remember John Wayne ... or Google him if you don't ... he did everything by himself ... he didn't need anyone.
He's also a fictitious persona.
GOD ... we want to believe we do all ourselves ... we don't need anyone ... but it's the biggest load of Bullshit ever!
I wouldn't be here at all without Sarah who keeps me in the boat in the first place so I'm not jumping ship and drowning.
I've almost drowned a few times in life and am grateful I didn't.
Our children ... a multicolored tapestry of personalities sprinkle joy into my little boat every single day ... somehow ... I don't know how.
A few good friends float by either waiting on their sails to fill ... or they zip by quickly because they have.
I sit and wait.
The water ripples ... a Dolphin breaks the surface ... Seagulls swirl ... and I know ... with everything in me ... a Hell of a wind gust is coming ... and we're going to fly!
I can feel it.
It's almost here.
