I was a little shell-shocked because every time I think I've figured out living with 3 little girls ... they raise the bar.
Blowing in from school desperate for food, just like always, they rummage through every cabinet in the kitchen without shutting any of the doors ... including the refrigerator!
Stuffing their mouths with gobs of artificially induced sweetness, they share their tales of woe.
Of course both are talking at the same time so I can't make sense of anything.
"HUSH," Maddie the 13 year old screams. "I GO FIRST!"
She is so loud the cabinet doors shut themselves.
Laurel, Sarah's 10 year old, is suddenly overwhelmed with emotion, lays her head on the kitchen table and tears up.
Taking no notice of her sister whatsoever, Maddie tells her story.
She has a stalker who is threatening her saying, "I have all this stuff on you and am going to get you suspended from school."
Maddie believes him, sends a text to her Mom to get her out of the hostile environment immediately ... which, of course, is exactly what happens though Sarah first conducts her own hostile takeover of the Principal's office ... reducing the poor educator to a stunned, silent, administrator.
This all started when Maddie used to like the boy but then didn't anymore and he has rejection issues.
"Is it my turn yet?" Laurel whimpers from with her head still on the table.
"Wait," I say holding up my hand as traffic cop preventing protestors in Ferguson from advancing any further.
"You ripped her a new one?" I ask Sarah.
My sweet wife smiles as she answers, "Let's just say we understand each other."
Maddie stuffs more of whatever she's stuffing into her mouth celebrating her liberation from the Chatham County Educational System.
"Go," I say to Laurel.
Lifting her head, she explains, "The love of my life has a new girlfriend."
"Wasn't he at your house yesterday, showing off his Christmas present to you and describing how he can't think about you without touching himself?" I inquire.
"He walked somebody else home from school today," she sighs.
"He's an idiot," I say.
"I know," she weeps, "but I miss him."
"We can't play cards tonight," Maddie mumbles with a mouth full of ... I have no idea what it's full of but it's full, "We're too upset."
So we watched a movie together ... "Tammy" ... which is remarkably similar to the girls day.
Afterwards they immediately go to bed.
So Sarah and I go bed too.
"Hello big boy," my wife says after we're under the covers.
I love it when the girls are home.
There's nothing boring about them!
