Unanswerable Questions

I spend a great deal of time pondering.

Maybe it's because I live at the beach with the most wonderful wife ever ... and her 3 little girls who set the bar asking questions.

"Question," Laurel the 10 year announces before saying anything.

"What?" I reply asking a question when she didn't.

Or Maddie the 13 year old who knows everything asking, "Mike can I ask you a question?"

"You just did," I clarify.

"What?" she asks.

"I can't answer that question until I answer the first one," I say as she grows frustrated.

"Where's my Mom?" is how these conversations normally end.

So it's questions all of the time at our house which ... leaves me with bigger questions ... in no particular order.

1. John Barrow, do you know how stupid you are in the commercials to reelect yourself to Congress by arguing you're not "one of them" ... though you have been for years ... and you're going to clean everything up by showing up at your Congressional office at 11:00 ... before your colleagues show up ... so you can film a commercial to be re-elected to the Congress you're running against?  
2. When did local cops become Paramilitary Military Police forces declaring war on the very people they're hired "to serve and protect" ... purchasing surplus military weapons to do so ... now wearing cameras to film arrests to be used as court evidence ... so Judges levy the fines to keep the cash flowing to ... buy more weapons?
3. Which leads to the next logical question ... when Lawyers put on black robes ... what in the Hell happens ... because a Demagogue is born on the spot?
4. Is Mitch McConnell the world's first living abortion?
5. Our friend Holly Howard Durrence reminds me of a perianal question ... why do people litter? It's an ultimate act of selfishness and pissing on the beauty of the earth.
6. How is it that we pay for and receive 1000 television stations and hardly anything's ever on?
7. What's Al Sharpton really?
8. RAP music glorifies violence ... which leads to black on black crime ... leading to outrage over a lack of outrage ... leading to increased sales of RAP music. Is this explainable?
9. Who does Joel Osteen's hair?
10. And, of course, where exactly does the Tide go when it goes out?

Oh my God my head hurts and the girls are coming home today bringing their own questions so I got get ready.

Happy Friday everyone!

And if you can answer any of these things, please do!

I think they're all unanswerable.