What I remember about last year is I was numb. Jerry Rainey and John Tatum had me in negotiations over my leaving Union Mission and boy that was fun. My son Jeremy went with me to look menacing. I remember just being sad and tired and angry. That was my last birthday. It wasn’t all that great.
At one point during the day I got on the computer and went to Face Book and there were all of these messages and greetings. There was this one telling me how good I look for 54 and I remember staring at it for a long time … cause I felt like shit.
So it made me stop and ponder for the longest time.
Keller Deal had worked things out so that I basically stayed in St. Martin for the month of June. I’d resigned and there was all of this press and I was a pretty funny cartoon in the paper. I remember showing it to Conner and Hania on the computer. Conner shook his head, fixed me a drink and made me shut off the computer.
So I stayed in St. Martin for a long time contemplating moving here. I didn’t have anything else to give back home. But Jeremy and Marie needed to leave and get on with their lives and I had nobody else to watch Goddess. And Jerry and John demanding things and I was demanding things so there were these meetings to attend.
So not really wanting to, I went home.
And there were these people waiting on me … my children … Jeremy and Marie, Kristen, Chelsea … Keller of course … John and Judy, Sarah, Shirley, Stacy, and the collection of crazies from the Breakfast Club.
I remember watching them watch me … cause they were scared of how bad I was.
I slept walked for months.
Somehow we agreed to terms, probably because of how menacing Jeremy appeared … and I disappeared to the back side of Tybee Island ... and slept on the floor … with a dog who licked my face and slept with me. Goddess is a dog who thinks she is a person.
My birthday falls close to the 4th of July and I remember going to see the
fireworks. My daughter Kristen has a roommate … Travis … we all love Travis … he is big, black, long dregs and crazy. One time he showed up for fireworks on the beach and after we had all of this stuff to carry back to the house … chairs, tents, coolers … and Travis tells us that he’s park close by.
He was.
On the cross walk! He literally drove up it and left his car there.
It is hard not to love Travis.
Unless you’re Kristen.
But last year …
I took a walk on the beach at night …
Somehow sand got in my mouth and if you’ve ever had sand in your mouth it drives you nuts so you open and shut your mouth, trying to spit, and you just can’t get it out.
But I remember laughing and feeling love for the first time in … forever.
Jeremy and Marie woke up surprised the next morning at how good I felt. At how good
I was.
This year is of course much different.
I’m content, happy and homesick.
I’m starting anew.
It’s not the first time. But God’s greatest gift is the chance to start over. And I have.
So looking back, it’s all been pretty cool. I’ve done some great stuff and a few bad things but … here I am. It all made me … me.
But the best days of my life … are coming.
Happy Birthday ME!
