Die with a Smile

 

Sarah has us asking Alexa to play our favorite songs so we're singing and dancing around the dining room table. 

It's idyllic moments, laughing together and enjoying each other fully, comes to an end when Sarah gets a call and has to take care of business. 



Che asks, "Mind if I play a song?" 

Falling into the sofa, I tell her no."

"For you," she tells me. 

The music erupts from Alexa as Che positions herself across from me, looks directly at me with blue eyes the size of moons and she sings. 

"If the party was over 

and our time on earth is through

I'd want to hold you just for a while

And die with a smile"

I am stunned. 

Che's pouring her heart into singing directly to me. 

My eyes fill with salt water and I can barely hold myself together. 

Lately, Che's been asking questions about whether or not I'm going to be around when she's this age or that.

"Dad are you gonna be alive when I'm 15?

"I don't know Baby," I shrug. "I wouldn't count on it."

She's well aware that I'm not always going to be here. 

"I just want to hold you for a while," she sings, "and die with a smile". 

She explodes from the chair into my lap on the sofa and hugs me tight for a long time. We laugh, tickling each other wrestling.  

Sarah finishes her call and we move back to the table to be with her. 

Right now, I'll take living with a smile and after I'm gone, I hope she remembers each of them. 

_____

My Celebration of Life

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