Fran has adorned her beautiful self with purple wisteria and the sun throws yellow on her thousand shades of green. All of the plants on the Beloved Back deck survived the winter and are in bloom with green, red, yellow and white all clamoring for attention. The Palm Tree with the oyster face, coconut bra and grass skirt oversees all of this with a smile. Goddess's head rests under my bare feet as I sit here marveling at all of the newness.
It's the first day of spring and God has never created better weather for it. I'm loving the moment.
"I'm worried about you," my Mom said as I drove on the Tybee Road last night.
"Well," I replied in the cell phone, "that's what Mother's do right? Worry about their children."
She wasn't expecting this.
"Yes," she finally said firmly. "That is what Mother's do."
"Good," I told her. "I wouldn't know what to do if you weren't worried."
It'd been a crazy day and I'd just finished telling her about it. Half the morning was spent on the phone with AT&T negotiating payment on my cell phone bill from our honeymoon in Belize. I have the International Plan but learned that certain countries are not included in AT&T's International coverage.
"So let me ask you a question," I asked in my best Conner impersonation. "Doesn't 'International' imply every nation?"
"It does," Robert is based in India replied. "Except for countries like Belize and Russia. They aren't included. You should have called us first so that you would know. Next time you travel, call us first."
"Hey Robert," I said. "Do you know what customer service is?"
Anyway, Robert was pretty cool about it and ... at this point ... I remain an AT&T customer.
Then it was on to dealing with the insurance company, a customer who had the audacity to think that I wasn't giving her the best customer service, sending things to the accountant for taxes, and trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
When I told all of this to my Mom driving on the Tybee Road to have dinner with Sarah and the girls, she told me that she remains worried ... as she always has been ... about most everything I've ever done.
As soon as I hung up, Samuel Adams ... who plays damn good live music on Tybee Island ... called. Sam is also a Jesus Impersonator ... they're kind of like Elvis Impersonators except Sam has "the look" down ... Jesus in bifocals.
"God told me to call you," he says, "to let you know how blessed you are."
God often speaks to Sam first and then Sam decides whether or not to tell the rest of us whatever it was God said.
I thanked him and hung up.
Sitting here now, I feel like a Beach Bum which is exactly what I always wanted to be when I grow up. I make the assumption that Mothers of Pirates worried about their sons and daughters as they pillared, raped and stole. I've been in a sea of battles but am now moored in the calm of the first day of spring. Sarah is bouncing in giving me kisses and looking like a voluptuous wench. I'm hosting a meeting later that I may or may not attend.
There's only one thing left to say ...
AAARRRRGGGG.
