The sun is moving from the left side of the sliding glass doors to the right ... meaning that it's glaring directly in my eyes. Normally in the winter it rises behind Fran's thousand shades of green and muted sunshine makes the kitchen glow with a coolness that's cozy. In the summer, it rises behind the Palm Tree with the oyster face, coconut bra and grass skirt giving it's hairdo fawns a golden crown. Today it rises between the two and is blazing directly in my eyes.
I could turn in the other direction but it would make my computer screen go white and I wouldn't be able to see anything that I'm doing. I could go in another room but I like looking outside to see what the day's throwing my way. Besides, in just a little bit, it'll rise above the umbrella on the Beloved Back Deck and I'll see things fine.
I've never minded the sunshine. Lying on the beach for so many years, I love the way the blazing sun sprinkles diamonds on the ocean. I love the warmth that makes me feel loved. I love the light that drives the darkness from my heart. I love the slow red glow that begins behind the ocean and slowly rises until the sea bubbles then a new day is born that's just as holy as Jesus rising from the dead.
Every single day, the sun reminds me that I have the chance to begin again. Regardless of how sleepless the night was with worry, fitfulness or hopelessness, the rising sun greets me with a chipper, "Good Morning. Thank God that's over! Let's start again."
And we either do or we don't.
Yesterday was a long day for me. It began with great expectations, good work, lots of things accomplished with a crescendo around mid-after noon. With everything going on, I knew that somebody had my back!
Then as the sun set, the curve balls came everywhere. The rules I'd been playing by were suddenly changed. Much of the work that I'd completed now had to be re-worked. Emails were flying at me from across the country ripping the dusk into the day and welcoming the demons of the night.
I sighed leaning against the kitchen sink as the sliding glass doors were now painted in black.
I responded to the emails and they responded back. My stomach started growling. I poured a glass of wine.
"I always appreciate your optimism," an email informed me ... and it gave me pause.
Indeed, I am an optimist. Regardless of the moment, and how bad it is or how much it hurts or sucks, I am somehow in an optimum state. It'll be alright.
The major prophet Bob Marley runs through my head. "Everything's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be alright! Everything's gonna be alright. No woman, No Cry."
What is amazing to me is how so many people need my optimism shot into their lives. So many seem to just assume the worst and almost welcome it. I think they're nuts.
Looking back over my career, the commodity that I sold sold the most of was hope. "What do you mean we can't do this?" was the first question I asked. "Why not?"
I think "Why not?" is the most important question anyone can ask ... EVER!
Last night, while a lot of people were worrying and depressed about the way the day had ended, I lay in bed full of anticipation of the coming day. Sure I was awake in the middle of the night, in a bed full of hope and love, pondering ...the things that I am hoping for.
"There is always a way," is one of my mantras, so I lay there breathing in the scents of love ... figuring out the way.
"Now faith is the evidence of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" ... but they are sure as hell felt! They are dreamed! They are known somehow even though they are far from real at the moment. Who cares? Believe in them anyway.
So last night I held my hopes tightly to my chest as though a pillow I hugged. The darkness had a light to it as I pondered the roadblocks, realities and realistic circumstances that I find myself in. But I wasn't focused on them as much as I lay there contemplating how to overcome them ... because I will.
Why not?
Just as sure as I was that the sun was going to rise ... and I'm watching it do an amazing job of it this morning.
"Oh Lord," I pray out loud, "Let me be like the sun today. I'm gonna rise above all of this darkness."
Amen.
