The black and white photo is of a young, blond pretty woman. She loved animals, was divorced, had no children and was adorned by many. Remembrances should go to the Humane Society. A funeral mass will be followed by a private graveside service.
Johnny stairs off in space.
I turn the page.
Half an hour later, Sarah and I stand on the Beloved Back Deck as the sun rises. The sliding glass doors to the kitchen are open and Laurel and Cassidy accuse the other of touching their cinnamon toast. The cicadae are loud, birds sing solos and Sarah is ravenously beautiful with long hair draping her shoulders, tight cut off blue jeans and a tank top.
I fight to concentrate on hearing what she's saying.
"I don't know how much time we have left," she says with hands stuffed in her pockets. "I hope it's forty years. I just know I want to make the most of whatever it is."
The other day she posted something Steve Jobs said. “No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent ..."
While I know that death certainly has a way of sneaking up on you, it's not something I think about.
Suddenly though, it confronts me.
It's taken two lifetimes for she and I to get together and there's a time limit!
She's lots younger than me and in Vegas the odds are I'm going out first.You never know because anything and everything in life is unpredictable but the betting people are laying money down on me dying first with her coming in a distant second.
It's sobering start to an absolutely beautiful day standing in front of a stunningly beautiful woman who loves me and wants to make the most out of whatever time we have left.
The older one grows, the more time is measured in immediate increments ... months instead of years ... days rather than hours ... now and not next!
I confess that I'm an utter failure in growing up!
"I believe if I refuse to grow old, I can stay young till I die," sings Granny in the marvelous musical advice she gives to her grandson Pippin."
I'm with Granny on this.
But, I'm smart enough to hedge my bets.
When Sarah takes the girls to school I jump on the phone and rearrange the weekend plans so that we can most make the most out of our time.
Then I do something I was supposed to have done yesterday but didn't, something Sarah started telling me I should do a week ago but life kept getting in the way.
I call a friend in his mid 90s who is winding down. Spending his days sleeping more, it takes several times before we actually talk. Thrilled to hear me, we make plans for lunch. No longer able to drive, I will pick him up 45 minutes away which is a pain-in-the-ass but I owe him a lot so I make the time.
Now I'm waiting on Sarah to get back home. She's at a meeting because the girls want to be in the "Squarepants Spongebob" movie being filmed here. Only on Tybee Island can a cartoon be filmed with real scenery. Go figure.
Sitting here, I count the seconds like an old man until the time that I have left is filled again.
Whatever time is left, I want it to be full!
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October 2013 ♦ Embracing peace in your life! “You are one of the most tormented people I know,” she said. I was at the height of success, living at the beach, working in a beautiful city, having everything I thought I wanted…but she was right. I was miserable and didn’t know why. Then I decided to take a journey inside of myself. Life is too short and I deserved to happily celebrate my life. As much as I wanted to lay the blame at the feet of others, it was my own fault and I needed to know why I prevented myself from enjoying my life. I needed to find peace. And I did. You can find yours.
Sign-up today to participate in the October class by clicking www.meellc.com/onlineclasses
