Yesterday, three years ago, I came home from a three day working retreat, excited and looking forward to everything. As soon as I walked inside though, I was told I would soon be divorced. At first I sobbed then slowly settled down to crying and finally to deep sadness. She left for Atlanta.
So life took another unexpected turn as lives often do.
I wallowed in melancholy while trying to work which didn't turn out very well. My status updates were things like "How do you mend a broken heart?" ... "Don't they know it's the end of the world?" and such. My writing was full of loss and brokenness.
The first person to figure it out was Judy O who called and demanded, "What the hell is with all of these sad songs?" and I blurted it out and told her.
Shocked her and I can still her saying, "Well Phooey! That just sucks."
Johnny O showed up a little while later to make sure I was OK. I wasn't so he gathered this carnival of friends with the principal assignment of making certain I had support.
Six months later I left Union Mission though in retrospect I'd started that process a couple of years earlier. I'd tried to plan it right, having a successor and turning the keys over on a sunny day but it didn't work out that way. Everything about everything had changed.
Such things leave scars you may get over though you never forget.
Today, three years later, I am loved. The tears are gone and the sadness hides in dark corners. The once lonely and abandoned house is now filled with activity. I'm helping others and building new things. I'm rolling dice again. Though I still stumble from time to time, my pace is picking up towards the future I desire. If I don't make it ... it won't be for lack of effort.
Throughout this time, I wrote it out every day and put it on Facebook, www.Micheal-Elliott.blogspot.com and in personal communications when people asked me things. Reading them today I was merely letting out the hurt and sadness and was surprised at the number of people who expressed gratitude because they'd gone through similar things.
I then moved on to chronicling my crazy journey to replace love, find new joy and somehow get reborn. The old had passed away. Again, I was overwhelmed at the people who were on the same quest.
As Sarah and I fell in love, this same community of readers and friends celebrated everything with us.
It hasn't been a perfect journey. There are some things I wish I'd done differently. I'm still not doing everything right all of the time. I suspect those keeping up understand there is no such thing as perfect journeys. Surprises, shocks, sudden turns and stumbles happen along the way.
It is where I am today. It's so much better than three years ago. I believe it's nowhere near as good as it's going to be three years from now ... and beyond.
