I worked my ass off.
I know ... I know ... a lot of you believe I'm all ass all the time ... and perhaps I am to you ... perception is reality is what I learned in Philosophy class in College.
Okay I actually only occasionally attended Philosophy Class in College because the Professor ... Dr. Marks ... was an ass ... so I skipped a lot.
But one day Guy Sayles, my friend and America's greatest minister, made me attend and I learned, "perception is reality."
If you believe it ... then it's true.
Did I mention Dr. Marks was an ass?
If he believed in Hell ... which he didn't ... he'd be there ... but I digress.
I perceive I'm a Millionaire but ... it's not my reality ... but I have a good time anyway ... though I do not like debt.
I believe I'm a great singer but ... it's not my reality ... but I have a good time anyway ... and act like Elvis ... but am a better performer than he ever was.
I'm convinced I play guitar as good as Chris Delsa but ... it's not my reality ... but I have a good time anyway ... and normally play well enough to get through the song without making people cry.
I KNOW I am a snappy dresser ... but it's not my reality ... but I have a good time anyway ... if clothes are necessary ... which they are not ... they should be black running shorts and a UGA tee shirt ... which you should take off as quickly as possible.
There is no question I am an incredible love making machine ... this part is my reality ... and I really have a good time ... NO! ... Sarah is not available to take your calls, answer your emails, private messages, Snap Chats or video conferencing.
I think I'm a great friend ... you'll have to ask others if its reality or not ... but I do have a good time ... and have lots of stories that I like to tell ... but Sarah's heard them all multiple times and she'd rather watch "The Bachelorette" if we're not making love.
I'm pretty sure God is cool with me ... She doesn't say a lot so it may or may not be reality ... but I have a good time anyway ... talking to God on the Beloved Back Deck ... interviewing Jesus for "The Rolling Stone" ... getting drunk with my Guardian Angel ... and planning the next Bar Church service.
Anyway ... my reality is I'm home babysitting and Cassidy, the 8 year old, just woke up ... if breakfast over a streaming I-Pad doesn't happen soon ... all Hell's gonna break loose!
That W.A.Y. too real for me.
Damn Dr. Marks who apparently got paid to teach me crap.
But ... I do love my life.
