"It's all wrong but it's alright," sings Dolly Parton.
(A confession: I love Dolly Parton! ... I know, I know ... a lot of people will talk about her assets ... but the woman is amazing for many reasons and I've always loved her music. The night before my first wedding, I was holed up with Bob Coursen in a cabin in Meriweather County, Georgia ... drinking beer and listing to Dolly's "New Harvest; First Gathering" album. Some bachelor party, huh? but her banjo playing, singing and writing of 'Apple Jack' is freaking amazing!
In the middle of the night Goddess' snoring woke me up ... she's taken to stealing pillows after I fall asleep and making herself a pallet on the floor beside my side of the bed to sleep on. Of course if I have to get up to pee I step on her. The dog just kills me!
Anyway, her snoring woke me up and Dolly was singing and dancing in my head. "All you gotta do is smile that smile and there go all my defenses and in a little while you're messing up my mind and filling up my senses."
Earlier in the day my defenses had gone flying out of the window. It's not the kind of thing you plan for. Your day is rolling merrily along until something happens that changes it and then you can never quite pull it back together in the way that you imagined it was going to be.
That was my yesterday. I had it planned to the nines ... but ended up only reaching the sixes. It all started out alright but then ... it went all wrong.
Who plans wrong?
To be honest, I have met people who plan wrong. Many of them have been elected to public office. Most are in Congress. A lot of others are in charge of banks and churches ... which as Jesus pointed out are often interchangeable institutions. Then are just the mean people who survive by tearing down others so they can build themselves up.
For the most of us though ... nobody plans wrong.
Yet wrong happens.
So when you spend your day trying to right wrongs ... it's like trying to fall asleep. You ever tried to fall asleep? It just doesn't happen.
You can step back from the wrong but it remains in the room like an pink elephant. Over the years, I try to live by doing what the things that I say I'm going to do. The world is screwed because people say they're going to do something and don't. There are normally a thousand distractions but remaining focused on doing what you said you were going to do is the real definition of success.
Looking back on yesterday, I had a lot of successes. I did virtually everything that I had said I was going to do ... but then there were a couple of things ... and they overshadowed everything else. So a day beginning with dancing ended up in glue ... slow motion discussions and deliberate actions.
It's all wrong ... but its alright.
So in the night I got up, stepped on Goddess and walked out to the beloved back deck in the middle of the night. Goddess followed me. I looked at the stars and just stood there shaking my head in prayers for forgiveness. Then God took a break from her busy schedule and told me a few things.
"Do your best. Keep striving to do the things that you say are going to do. When you don't, do your best to make it right. When you're sitting at the table looking across at the people you love ... be honest. Don't beat yourself up too much because ... you get it right far more than you get it wrong ... and everybody screws up. Try not to screw up too much. When you do ... say you screwed up and try to fix it. If you can't fix it ... start over. My greatest gift is the chance to start over ... every single day."
I felt better and thanked God for telling me these things.
Then Goddess and I went back to our bedroom. Stepping on her pillow pallet, I cocooned myself in covers.
Then Dolly broke out in song.
Here you come again.
