From the moment that I left Union Mission in June people began to tell me how successful the next big thing that I do is going to be. Julie was the first, though we were newly divorced but she has always been one of the best cheerleaders ever. I was in such a distraught state over a great number of things that I remember her saying the words but was pretty numb to them.
Then it was my former Board chair Herb. “With your experience and abilities to communicate in so many different ways, you are going to be wildly successful when you decide whatever it is that you are going to do.” I sat there at the table in Larry’s restaurant just staring at him, tired and worn out and not wanting to hear such things.
Even my extended family at the Breakfast Club has consistently brought it up, telling me how excited they are to watch it all unfold. Whenever this happens I look to Johnny O who always has clever responses like “Don’t listen to that crap!” or “F**K this! I’m leaving!” and he throws his money on the counter and storms out. I can always count on Johnny O.
While I’ve pretty much laid low in public since June, a number of people have gotten in touch with me asking if they can go with me, as if I knew where I was going. I say that I’ll get back to them whenever I figure out what it is that I’m doing.
For the most part, I’ve stayed on the beloved back deck writing and thinking. I’ve walked Goddess through the marshes of the Back River to listen to the choir of mussels. I’ve taken my bicycle that sometimes drinks too much to Bernie’s or to Fannies. I’ve made my daily pilgrimage to the Breakfast Club for the communion of coffee. Those have been my days.
And I resolved that I would wait on things to come to me and not go chasing after them in some frantic or panic state. It has been hard work because I have a Type-A personality disorder and am a relentless and driven person when I want something.
But it has worked out. Good things have been finding their way to me. Friends that love me and who I know without any hesitation that I can trust were the first. Followed by the emergence of ideas that are still being formulated but a plan is coming together. A calming of the soul is still taking place as I find myself overwhelmed with the beauty of my surroundings. Then a partner showed up who is strong where I am not and she gives me homework assignments and I call her names.
Then yesterday a friend who I love deeply wrote me “I know you are sabbaticaling … I think I made up that word …but I am so excited for you and watching what is next.”
And I paused.
Throughout this Sabbatical I’ve danced with old friends who had been long lost, had Celtic Christianity continued to say that light is born in the darkness, and began the long hard journey of just being Micheal again. It has been both a terrifying and thrilling walk.
I write this in an airport. I’m taking a break from the Sabbatical for a couple of weeks, heading to Atlanta, New Orleans, and L.A. Consulting work first is then followed by a collection of leaders in health care and then an exploding street medicine movement. I am intrigued of possibilities.
Then I’m going back on Sabbatical again.
Last night I began this break when another gift that I didn’t expect came to me on Shirley’s sad little holy dock. The Milky Way was putting on its nightly show and for the first time in a long, long time I felt peaceful. It is a wonderful way to begin a break from the break that I was taking.
Now as I climb on planes, I am excited a bit to see what is out there.
