I don't deny it.
Most people believe in absolutes. Things are black or white. You're liberal or conservative. There are believers and non-believers, lovers and haters, the good and the bad.
I believe life's more grey.Like piano keys, black and white mixed together can make beautiful sounds. If just one set of keys are played it's pretty one dimensional.
Politics is for extremists though the truth is most often in the middle.
Believers are filled with doubt while non-believers long for something to fill empty places.
Lovers absentmindedly fall into apathy and haters sometimes overcome above their indifference.
Good people occasionally do bad things and bad people surprise everyone when they rise to the occasion.
You can never quite be sure.
There's always more than one side to a story.
It's not to say I don't have convictions because I certainly do!
I hate cold weather with everything in me. I love my kids, the girls, Goddess, Winston, the little gay dog, summer, the beach, St. Martin and the University of Georgia football team with everything inside of me.
I simply adore my beloved Sarah and emotionally fall apart when we're not on the same page. I just shut down.
The older I get, the more I think it's all C'est la vie.
That's life!
Clarity often slips into ambiguity and then slides back to crystal clear visions but with nagging wonderment if it's the right way or not?
We're all working our way through the best we can.
Some of us do better than others though each of us struggle.
I have both the blessing and the curse of being an extremely empathetic person. I feel what others share deeply and in real time. A friend is hurting, feels taken advantage of, hates life or wants something different shares with me and I share it back. I live the moment with them even though I often think they've made their own bed and are now laying in it.
I don't tell them that though.
I encourage instead.
Life's hard enough to get through.
We can all use more encouragement.
I overdo it and I know I do.
Sometimes at my own expense.
Certainly at the expense of others.
Sitting here pondering these things, I say the same prayer that I say every single day. It's one of my absolutes.
"Hey God! Help me to be the best me I can be today. I'm sure I'll fuck some things up but I really am doing my best. If I can help anyone else along the way then that's good too. Bless the things I love and let me love them like you do. And if you can find a use for the things I hate ... well that's great. You being God and all made it for a reason. Oh ... and thanks for this life. Thank you for Sarah, the kids the girls, Goddess, Winston, the little gay dog, warm weather, the here and the now."
It's my life.
C'est la vie!
_____________________
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