That's good.
I've worked hard to get here.
My world turns very slow.
Not much bothers me.
Well ... politicians bother me. They can all go to hell. I'm non-discriminatory about it ... they all suck. They start off believing they can make a difference but in the end, the major prophet George Harrison was right when he said, "No matter who runs for office, it's the Government that always gets elected."
Television preachers bother me too. They also suck and can go to the same hell they're telling me I'm going to just because I happen to have broken eight of the ten commandments. They hang around Saints claiming to be with the "In-crowd" whereas I prefer my friends the Sinners. We have more fun and we spend a lot of time laughing at Joel Osteen and T.D. Jakes, just waiting on them to have their "Jim and Tammy Baker" moments.
Other than that though, nothing much bothers me.
My daughter Chelsea is getting married tomorrow and a Tropical Storm happens to be passing over head and everybody's in a tither about it.
"It'll be alright," I tell them with a shrug. "The sun always comes back out."
Besides I've never done a beach wedding in the rain. It could be fun, combining the best elements of nuptials with nipples in a wet tee-shirt contest.
There's also all of the drama that goes with a wedding. Who's coming and who's not? Everyone assumes the worst. I don't get caught up in all of that. It won't matter anyway. I won't see them as I'll be crying my eyes out.
Plus I'm performing the ceremony as a former "Professional Christian" so I have to multi-task by talking and crying at the same time.
It'll all be alright.
When Sarah and I got married we decided to kidnap a party that was already going on and only invite a few friends. Two hundred people showed and the party someone else was throwing became ours. It was a magical night.
It will all work out.
It always does.
