A typical day in the Celebration of my Life begins about an hour after I go to sleep because of prostate cancer, and it takes forever to pee in the dark.
I return to bed and the episode repeats itself two or three times before I curse God like the Prophet Jeremiah did, get up and shower.
Lainey's waiting for me on the sofa when I stumble through, heading outside to wake and bake while the coffee brews.
All is calm.
All is bright.
The silent night drives me crazy!
Back inside, I search YouTube for a burning fire on a Beach to give the room a warm glow, stick AirPods in my ears, find my tunes, crank it up, grab my phone and I've got the whole wide world in my hands.
The first sip of coffee is still something to die for.
Pausing, I look at the flickering lights from my virtual fire, and collect myself.
Fifteen months after stopping treatment for pancreatic cancer, I have far exceeded anyone's expectations.
Now the pressures really on to keep it up!
"I really think," Sarah tells me over a nice lunch, "you are going to live forever and I wasn't really ready for that."
Bursting into laughter together, I shrug, "Yeah, I think you're right."
I think about Moses getting to see the Promised Land but never able to enter.
I think I'm in the Promised Land and will eventually see it, in my rear view
I focus on the now and try not to think about the future.
The future will be different, if it's anything at all.
But in some crazy way that I don't understand, I'm not frightened of it.
Hell, I can't wait to see what happens next!
If there's anything to see.
It doesn't matter.
Life is a gift that none of us asked for but everyone got.
Maybe there'll be other gifts but to spend time hoping and praying for more takes a lot of energy and focus away from the marvelous present I have now.
That's all that matters.
"DA!" Che calls from her room, finally waking up.
Rushing inside, we snuggle as she stretches.
"Pool today?" she suddenly asks, blue-green eyes popping wide open.
"Yep," I laugh with her and our day begins.
Because so many have invested in our Celebration of my Life, Sarah's been crazier busy than she normally is!
Let's be honest, caregiver love is the most amazing love.
Anyway, after work, she's gone to work and built an oasis for us to enjoy the summer.
Here we are!
Baptizing ourselves in now.
Because that's all we've got.
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Thank you all for making it a party!
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Post Celebration planning is already underway at https://gofund.me/ffda4f4b
