In a court room seated beside my Lawyer, I turn to see the man bringing charges against me to look him straight in the eyes and what I see is cold, calculating, snarling, evil ... hate.
Previously over lunch in the Starfish Café, a culinary arts training program and functional restaurant for homeless people I helped start, I listen as he berates me to the Chairman of my Board of Directors and keep quite.
Before a meeting of the Chatham County Commission, he berates me too ... calling me a liar and a thief among other things.
I end up wasting a tremendous amount of time trying to understand him, make peace and reconcile leaving me frustrated, bitter and tiptoeing into hating him back.
I never do though, instead framing him as filled with the demons of envy, anger and mental illness.
Later when he's fired because he refusing to resign and it's front page news, I shrug and say, "What goes around comes around."
A year later, Kathryn, a mutual friend calls to say he has Cancer and his wife decides that's a good time to demand a divorce leaving him to manage it alone.
"Karma," I tell Sarah.
Yesterday I receive word he's died.
Kathryn honors whatever good things he may have done on Facebook.
Staring at his picture ... all I see is his hate.
Over wine after supper, I tell my wife who's very protective of me so she defiantly says, "Well."
"I don't care," I tell her.
And the truth is I don't.
I tried to repeatedly but he wouldn't have any of it and it took me a long time to get over because he was rejecting me and I took it personally.
In retrospect I did the best I could, which is all any of us can do, but he wanted nothing of it.
He did want the things I had ... a job at the top of the pinnacle, a place at the Beach, lots of support publically and privately, awards ... and a reputation as a "Golden Child" sought after by many.
Now, I'm still here and he's not.
I don't know why but it bothers to not give a damn.
