Shirley Sessions ... an amazing woman

My friend Shirley Sessions has been been firing an inordinate amount of communications lately. Normally, she makes occasional epiphanies on the sad little holy dock or has me over for left-overs at her house. On the other hand, we have her over to our house and I cook real meals. When Shirley is here, Goddess loves her and Winston, the little gay dog, prances around her feet like fairy on meth. Whenever I'm at her house, she makes me hold a cat. We don't see each other all that much anymore though we live just a few steps away. It's not my fault. She's busy covertly running the United Way, the city of Tybee Island (amazing because she's no longer in public office but covertly runs things there too), and most of Chatham County (I think the County Chairman has the hots for Shirley). She did stop by on my birthday and left me a bottle of Pouilly Fuisse. It's hard not to love Shirley ... Besides I sometimes have this vision of her as the old commercial where her eyes grow dark, she snaps her fingers and it lightnings, and she darkly says, "It's not nice to fool Mother Nature." I wouldn't want to try to fool Shirley. Bad shit could happen. Anyway, she inserted herself into my perfectly tranquil life the other day and is now setting lunch dates with me that are to include other people. Shirley is the only person in the world, well ... besides Ben Barnes ... who can get away with such a gross manipulation of time and energy. First, she wants to have me have lunch with Mary Ann Beil. Now I love Mary Ann and we go way back. I know Mary Ann more than Shirley knows Mary Ann (but would never tell Shirley lest she snap her fingers). Then she wants me to have to have lunch with Skutch. Skutch is the guy who looks like a B Actor playing a reporter in a 1940's movie. He covered most of my career and I love him. He works for the Savannah Morning Blues and he covered my former career for more than a decade. If that wasn't enough, she wants us to go see her sister Sandy McCloud perform with the Girlfriends ... again! (Now I love Sandy and actually have known her longer than I've known Shirley and the Girlfriends are great ... everybody should go see them ... but I'll be in the Bahamas. Don't tell Shirley ... you can tell Sandy.). Last night I looked at an actual calendar for the first time in a couple of years. It grossed me out. That used to be my life ... ruled by a calendar. I'm not that anymore. Mind you ... I don't have much of a clue what I am but, I'm never doing that again. I'm not telling Shirley though. It could piss her off and she'd snap her fingers and stuff. I don't want to go there. You don't want me to either. Trust me ... the woman's amazing.