With everything inside of me I held back my natural response of ... "You just did."
"Yes Sir," I reply. "Of course."
After all this is an interview.
Questions are expected.
There are nine of them ... each firing scripted questions in sequence ... taking notes at my responses ... as we sip coffee or bottled water inside an air conditioned Board room outside of Orlando.
Eight sets of eyes look at him before looking at me and then looking back at him again.
I know and they know that he knows ... he's going off script!
This interview is getting ready to get wild.
"I am here to answer any question you have," I smile.
Wearing a red, white and blue plaid blazer over a white collared shirt with kaki pants, black socks and brown shoes, he returns the smile.
"This is an interview," he smiles, "and I'm just wondering ..." he glances at his fellow board members and clears his throat ... "why aren't you wearing any socks?"
The others nod in affirmation of the non-scripted question and stare at me.
"Is it appropriate to answer a question with a question?" I inquire.
"Of course it is," he grins. "We're all friends here."
"It's a multi-layered response," I clarify.
"That's fine," he replies. "We've allowed ample time to really get to know the candidates."
"Well," I begin straightening up in my chair, "I haven't worn socks in three years and saw no reason to start now ... It's hot as Hell outside and I'm being grilled inside and I didn't want to sweat ... but the real reason is my wife dressed me today ... so why wouldn't I listen to my wife?"
They all take notes at a feverish pace.
"She picked out this black tee shirt ... the kaki pants with creases ... and bought me these really cool shoes made out of some cloth that breaths."
"I see," the President of the Board says, still writing on his little pad of paper.
"I need to be honest though," I continue, "even if she had laid out socks ... which she didn't ... I would have taken them off after I got in the car to drive here."
"WE LOVE YOUR HONESTY!" they exclaim and the interview ends on a high note with lots of promises made.
I never heard from them again.
The problem with socks is like the problem many have with sex ... you have to keep them up all the time ... when pleasurable interludes make everything better.
Besides socks cut off circulation and make your feet stink!
God made bare feet.
Man made socks.
That's where the whole disconnection began.
So if you want to get closer to God ... lose the socks.
