Yes ... residents of Nursing Homes consider themselves to be "Inmates" ... they can't leave whenever they wish ... plus the place is decorated in "Early American Prison" and Jane Coslick herself couldn't do anything with this dump of a place!
"HEY KIDS!" I yell strolling into the Dining Hall.
Normally the inmates laugh at being called "Kids" at their age but today there the room is filled with gloom.
"They didn't pay the cable bill," Paul explains from his wheelchair. "We can't watch the 'Price is Right'."
Lona Crask shrugs her shoulders, John sets up his drums and I look at the blank television screen.
Bob Barker has been our opening act for the better part of two years.
"Dammit!" I think, "We're going to have open cold today."
It's hard to replace Bob Barker.
The Nursing Home Nurses rush in to calm the crowd with coffee, oatmeal cakes and pickles which the inmates savagely grab and immediately eat.
It's sad.
There's not enough chairs for everyone to sit in the room as the floors were recently cleaned and ... well ... floors are more important than people!
Lona, John and I break into music and the inmates come from everywhere ... meaning the Nurses have to find chairs and bring them into the room.
The room is packed in no time ... in spite of no Bob Barker.
"HEY!" I yell between songs. "HOW MANY OF Y'ALL DID IT IN THE BACK SEAT OF YOUR DADDY'S CAR?"
Nurses frown.
Old men and women in wheelchairs grin and raise their hands as dead memories spring to life.
"Yeah, me too," I laugh.
And they laugh ... for a moment anyway.
At the end, they rush up to hug, help with the equipment and howl that the television doesn't work.
It's time for "Wheel of Fortune."
Walking out, the people in Administration count money ...literally ... from the selling of Oatmeal Cakes and pickles.
A Nurse punches in the code to let me out and keep them in.
Throwing my guitar inside the car, I sit behind the wheel full exhausted wanting a strong drink.
I'm doing a funeral later.
I hope I'm up for it.
Then I bust out laughing at the sadness of it all.
