I am still not used to it. Traveling alone for work has been a norm for as long as I can remember. As the years passed though, I often was able to take my companion with me to wonderful cities and fantastic places throughout the United States. That was fun.
We traveled a lot aside from work too happily knocking out Caribbean Islands until we found St. Martin and this wonderful carnival of friends. Back in those days I kept journals of all of our trips. I would chronicle our adventures and punctuate them with drawings that I did. Memories of good times that now collect dust on a shelf in my bedroom closet.
Last April was the first time that I began a journey of one, returning to St. Martin alone. My friend Conner met me there for a “boy’s trip” because I didn’t have another option. We had a good time as he and I always do but if I could have chosen for it to be the way that it had been before I would have.
Then in June I did it again and Conner and Hania and hung out. What had been a foursome had been reduced by one. It takes getting used to.
Now I head back again. In several days Conner and Hania will join me again and we’ll have fun again, though everything is different now.
Everything about my life is different now. Very little is the same as it was just several months ago. I am on this journey though I’m not quite sure where I’m heading. Everyone tells me how great it’s going to be though and how successful I’m going to be at it. It’s interesting hearing them.
There is no joy in traveling alone. The destination may be fine and I may enjoy myself once I arrive but once you’ve had the pleasure of laughing and whispering and planning all of the things that you want to do as you make your way, well it makes it lonely and contemplative when you no longer have those things.
So I’m off today to return to a place that I love; a place that someone used to love with me. But that is the past. And I don’t live there anymore.
