"So what's your next big trip," my son asks?
"No," I reply in a very flat affect, "those days are over."
There's silence on the other end of the phone.
"Maybe Sarah will work some more magic," I wistfully add, "who knows?"
The silence remains for a second before we move on to other topics, but the reality remains, those days are done.
I'm thankful beyond belief of everything we've done over 5 years of cancer! Colorado white water rafting, Che's 1st trip to Disney, riding donkeys in Mexico on Thanksgiving, are but a few examples of Sarah's determination that life remain joyful, loving and fun!
The following day, I am violently ill.
I have a tendency not to remember such episodes so have no idea when the last time it's been this bad. Surely it was when I was still on chemo.
Sarah's immediately thrown into overload capacity but she somehow gracefully manages, from cleaning my puke to carting Che and a friend on a play date, while wondering which hospital I may need.
Che is wary around me, keeping a watchful eye and at my side instantly if I call her, but otherwise staying away to give me space.
She and Sarah hug a lot.
"Dear God," I plead, "just get me back to where I was. You don't have to heal me."
Miraculously, yet again, I rally.
The last week or so are a blur. My birthday was lovely. Che and I swam every day. Sarah plays catch-up.
We're exhausted and talk openly about it.
"Any disruption to the Bubble we live in takes days to recover from," she says.
Agreeing, I nod but have nothing to add.
"Dad's better Mom!" Che yells at Sarah who laughs while she busily tends the foster puppies.
For the moment, I am back to where I was.
Thank God.
***
My Celebration of Life is winding down to the end while Sarah and Che have a whole new life together, coming soon
Help them do it right without me at https://gofund.me/ffda4f4b
