Why is the Universe slightly off kilter this morning?

Stumbling from the shower into the kitchen, I pick up the two pills laying on the counter and pop them in my mouth, washing them down with a glass of water. Then I look at the counter and see that I took Goddess' pills instead of mine. Of course this is right after I've given Goddess my pills so she is waiting for the treat I normally give her after this routine. Winston, the little gay dog, is prancing and dancing around my feet. "Shit," I mutter, grabbing the bottles so that I can take the Cholesterol and Blood Pressure medicine and Goddess can have pills for her joints. Then it's off to The Breakfast Club for coffee. Stumbling in the door marked "Exit Only," I pour myself a cup and sit on my normal stool. The entire staff are sleep walking through the prepping that occurs for hours before the place opens. They've been slammed all week and look worn and tired. That's when Dedra, or D-Luv as she is know on the island, burst through the doors like Ehtel Merman, singing at the top of her lungs. "Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, listen to the music." "What in the hell is that?" Bree asks from the back. The entire cook staff turns in unison and if looks could kill Dedra would have been dropped on the spot. Ryan actually opened his eyes. Nancy left claiming she was no longer able to work. Dedra notices none of this and sits next to me now singing "Rock and Roll Hootchie Coo". I give her coffee to shut her up. Leaving the Club, I make my way back home to discover that Winston, the little gay dog, has stolen a stuffed animal from Cassidy's room and white cotton stuffing is laying all over the floor. Goddess is standing there looking like she had nothing to do with it and feeling sorry for her little brother. Sitting down to collect my thoughts, Cassidy wanders out drapped in a red blanket. She stares at me as I sit to write and then starts talking. The quiet of the morning is shattered as bad as Dedra's gross misinterpretation of Ethel Merman. What does one do? The universe is slightly off kilter. It's a beautiful morning and I've been looking forward to the day since yesterday. Something's just not-quite-right. Cass is hungry so I make her pancakes which she immediately pronounces as burnt. "Not if you cover them in syrup," I explain. She decides its more important to color at this moment. I leave her to the crayons and return to the Beloved Back Deck. My neighbor comes out and screeches "HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTY." The neighbor on the other sides cranks his lawn mower. Winston, the little gay dog, pees on the kitchen floor. Goddess shakes her head and walks away. I don't know why the universe is slightly off kilter this morning but it is. It could be because its an election year, the Southern Baptist elected a black man as their President, or the woman on the Bachlorette decided not to send somebody home last week because she likes them all. Sarah wakes up but refuses to get out of bed. I don't blame her in the least. It's going to be an interesting day. So if you're also experiencing things in a slightly-off-kilter-kind-of-way I wonder why you think it is? Oh wait ... Cass is eating the pancakes. Never mind.