The Naked Truth

"There are no prostitutes on Tybee Island," the City Councilman said authoritatively.

"There have been reports of them," the Mayor replied.

"Well, there ain't none here," the Councilman said matter of factly.

The rest of the members of the Council shifted in their swivel wooden chairs or pretended to be reading the report in front of them.

"How do you know," the Mayor finally asked.

The Councilman leaned forward before he answered. "They'd starve," he said and sat back.

The audience murmured while the other members of the Council shook their heads at the old man with the white beard wearing painters pains and a plaid shirt. He took a long draw from the Styrofoam cup he held.

"Why would they starve?"


Shaking his head from side to side as in disbelief of the stupidity of the question, he put the large Styrofoam cup down and spit out the obvious answer.

"Cause you can it free on this island! Ain't nobody have to pay for it! Prostitutes would go broke and starve to death. There ain't none here."

Amidst laughter and shock, most everyone agreed with the assessment and the Mayor moved to the next item on the agenda.

This actually happened on Tybee in the not so distant past. I may not have gotten the words exactly right but it's a pretty accurate description of what took place.

Of course things like that don't happen anymore. The island takes itself far too serious these days. Besides the current City Council spends all of its time trying to fire the City Manager, buying more Stop signs and developing strategies to eliminate parking spaces.

I keep meaning to write a sequel to Running with the Dolphins but am laying low these days. Everyone on the island lays low now lest we find ourselves in the same position as the City Manager.

Besides I'm busy helping Johnny O get the "The Naked Politician Bill" passed. Any meeting of politicians would have to occur in the nude and begin with a group hug. Starting at the Tybee City Council and all the way to Saxby Chamblis' office in the U.S. Senate, any meeting would start with the naked truth.

Whatever they do in Executive Session is up to them but they sure as hell better not violate the sunshine laws which lets the rest of us watch!

And as far as I know, there still are no Prostitutes on the island.