Out of the Public Eye

I was wearing a pair of running shorts and my I-Pod and nothing else as Goddess and I made our way along the back river Saturday morning. I was lost in thought as I prepared to head to Atlanta for meetings. Every morning, the dog walkers, joggers, bikers and others are out forming this little community of people who nod and wave at one another though we are all perfect strangers.

In the distance I saw three joggers coming in our direction. I was staring at the high tide covering the green marsh. Looking back to the road, the joggers recognized me as I recognized them. Then a very sweaty Don Waters ran up to me, gave me his sweaty hand and then gave me a sweaty hug. Myron Kaminski gave me a high five.

“How you doing, man?” Don asked as only he can. The last time that I saw Don I was still President & CEO of Union Mission and we were in a Board meeting.

“Where are your running shoes?” Myron asked running in place. “I’ll watch your dog and you go get your running shoes on.” Don and Myron have been after me for years to go running with them but I never have.

“What are you doing?” Don asked, still holding my hand.

“Walking Goddess,” I answered.

“Man I have been getting a lot of phone calls about you,” he explained. “Everybody wants to know how you’re doing and what you’re doing. Elmo Weeks called me last night.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m lying low for now.”

“Ok,” he said pumping my hand with warmth again, “call me and let’s have coffee soon.”

“Sure”, I nodded.

“I mean it,” he repeated as though he didn’t believe me. “Call me!” and they continued their run.

After years of being in the public eye, I am out of it right now. It is a time for me to be out of it. I have lots of things that I need to do for me right now. So my geography is small and me circle of friends is tight. It is a healing time for me after all of those years of being there for everybody all of the time. It is also a time for me to dream about what is next and then to put that dream together like a jigsaw puzzle.

I know, right? The timing for such things couldn’t be worse. The economy sucks, people are losing their homes and their businesses and jobs, and change is always the most difficult of births. But this is my time for it and I think that the time chose me more than I chose it.

So for the past six weeks I’ve been taking an inventory of me … my wounds, faults and gifts. It is hard work to do this, but I think that I’ve gotten to the point where I can name them all. And naming them is the first step towards healing.

Understanding each gift and talent and unique and creative thing that makes you is what we are to build our futures on. Try to do the things that you love and you are good at. This leads to happiness and love I think.

I’ve got a lot of friends and people that I love who are going through the exact same thing as I am. They are somewhere on the continuum of change just like I am. Some are further along and others further behind yet we are all on the same journey. And it is good to have some safety-in-numbers security that we are not doing this alone. Others are doing it too.

And if we can be open and honest with one another about where we are, then I do believe that we will all help each other leave the sadness of the past for the happy love of the future.