Reclaiming the Garden of Eden

It's "National Nude Day" one of my favorite holidays.

The overwhelming majority of people spend less than 10 minutes a day naked.

Most of that time is in the shower ... hiding behind a curtain.

The next amount of naked time is spent having sex which is now a speed competition.

On the days people have sex there's a marginal bump in the national average of time spent naked to about 10 minutes and 47 seconds.

I don't know about you but 47 seconds allowed for naked sex isn't especially impressive.

I confess I don't know the average time spent on "clothed" sex but I'm sure it's huge.

But to each their own.

On the other hand I celebrate National Nude Day every day, far exceeding the 10 minute national average.

I know ... I know ... there're a lot of Puritans out there who believe in covering everything up all of the time.

But God made us without clothes and for some reason we've been trying to improve upon that.

It started when Adam and Eve thought it was a good idea to listen to a snake.

What a stupid idea!

Who listens to snakes?

Why were they talking to one in the first place?

Whatever!

The world's been going to Hell since they grabbed fig leafs and made the first clothes.

It pissed God off so bad he kicked them out of the Garden of Eden.

NATIONAL NUDE DAY is for those us determined to reclaim the Garden of Eden.

You have to start somewhere and that means downsizing and losing the laundry.

After all clothing is a horrible contribution to the world's issues.

People buy them because they believe "clothes make the man" which is a silly concept because you can dress up what you got all day long but inside the cloth you are who you are and always will be.

We believe you "dress for success" but there are boatloads of unsuccessful ... and underachieving ... dressed people in the world ... mostly in Congress.

Then there is the clergy who dress in suits, put a robe over it AND STAND BEHIND A PULPIT so nobody can see them as they truly are.

N.A.K.E.D.

Plus we overstuff our closets ... pass clothes on to others who don't want them ... give them to Goodwill when we don't know what else to do ... Goodwill sells them or turns them into rags ... they eventually get thrown away ... occupying the nation's landfills.

National Nude Day is against such atrocities.

If  YOU want to keep sabotaging the way God intended things to be ... get dressed.

If you want to celebrate with God ... get naked.

Those are your options.

There are no others.