I mean it's daunting if you take it serious.
Who in their right mind presumes to speak for God?
Okay ... I admit ... politicians, preachers, Newscasters, bankers, masters of business and most everyone involved in the academic community speak for God every day ... telling us there's one way ... theirs.
Crazy zealots, racists, bigots, the mentally ill, the over medicated, the under medicated and all those in search of the right medication tell us they know what God wants from us too ... and they're all crazy!
Just like those who listen to them all are crazy!
There's way too much crazy in the world already without crazy people adding to it.
The truth of the matter is every single day we're overwhelmed by those speaking on God's behalf, shoving their interpretation of truth down our throats.
After six decades, I've finally stopped listening to all of them.
I no longer seek the news ... I let it find me.
What I get comes from Sarah ... the girls ... the kids ... Facebook ... Twitter ... and occasional friends reaching out in old fashion ways for something or another.
Unless a Hurricane's bearing down on me, I don't pay much attention to the headlines any more.
I used to live in headlines but it's like getting high ... you can only stay front page news for a little while ... then you crash ... and have to figure out how to do it again.
It's been a long struggle coming to terms with the fact that I'm not the center of the Universe and the world doesn't revolve around me.
It did for a while.
It cost a great deal more than I got to spend.
And I'm not willing to pay those prices anymore.
There was a time though, I paid it all.
I read everything ... did everything ... picked the righteous battles and fought 'em all ... won more than I lost ... beat everyone, including people I really liked ... some whom I really love ... and stayed on, or near, the front page as a result.
I had the Midas touch.
Everything turned to gold ... the rusty girls I slept with ... the shady successful business people who cut deals ... the politician's promises which are only good the moment they're spoken ... the pontificates of the Preacher which are mostly made up ... and the crazy people who drew me in as one of their own.
It was one Hell of a ride.
I guess you had to be there.
Yet, here I am standing on a Sunday morning and everyone's waiting ... on Holiness to hit ... lightning to strike ... Angels to sing (sorry boys) ... the sick to heal ... the lame to walk ... the dead be raised ... for the Kingdom to come on Earth as it is in Heaven.
I don't believe I do that.
In fact, I know I can't.
I know others who believe they can ... but they're not here ... they're out convincing the world they know what God wants everyone to do to make it all perfect ... like it's perfect in Heaven.
In the meantime, it's just me and I'm speaking on behalf of God.
Just like my sources for News is tiny, my faith rest upon little pillars.
The first tiny little pillar is family ... even if you don'e have them anymore ... you remember them ... Parents, Grandparents, Brothers and sisters, and those closer than blood relatives never really go away ... and not a day that passes we don't feel the void they left.
And Sarah and the girls ... and the kids and the craziness of living life with a house full of girls ... AT MY AGE! ... but they're the things I care about most every day.
They bring me the important news of the day ... Maddie and her boyfriend Parks continue to grow closer ... Laurel's so excited about this weeks Homecoming Dance and date with Conner ... Cassidy's going to babysit her sister for the first time tomorrow ... Che speaks new words every day.
This is the news I can use.
It's by far the most important news in my life.
The second tiny pillar is life itself ... I'm still here ... I'm not sure how but I am ... though I'm increasingly mindful that I don't have as many days before me as I do behind ... so they're more precious. Waking up like a kid on Christmas morning, I say to myself, "I have another day! It's all mine!! YEAH!!!!"
So I try my best to enjoy the Hell out of the gift of still being alive ... HERE! ... NOW!! ... WITH MY FAMILY!!! ... and WITH YOU!!!!
The third little part of my foundation is love.
I've done my my very best to love as I've lived and, sure enough, I loved lots of the wrong people ... the wrong things ... the wrong hopes ... and the wrong dreams.
But I loved enough of the right ones too ... which is why I'm so happy to be here now ... because it's the things I love ... and that love me back ... that make living worthwhile.
Last, my geography continues to shrink.
I no longer have to go and conquer the world.
It can come to me if it wants.
Don't get me wrong, I love to travel and have been fortunate enough to see lots of it and can't wait for all the places Sarah and I are discovering but ... it's far more important who I'm traveling with than where I'm going anymore.
So those are the legs that the stool of my life stand on.
Take away one and the stool falls.
Leave them together and I've got something to stand upon.
But the ground that legs of the stool stand upon ... I believe that's God.
I believe ... I know ... God is somehow responsible ... for me being here at all ... for the people I love the people who love me ... the time I have ... the survival of mistakes ... the forgiveness of my sins which were all self inflicted ... and the chance to stand here in front of you to not speak on God's behalf.
I have nothing to say on God's behalf though I do have something to say to God.
"Thank you Lord for thinking about me ... I'm alive and doing fine."
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