Swan Song

Every single one of my endings caught me by surprise.

I'm determined to never let that happen again.

Time is on my side.

Let's be honest. 

There's no such thing as a great ending. 

If endings were so great everybody would do 'em again. 

No one's ever ended anything more than once though many keep trying, still figuring out what exactly brought things to a halt in the first place.

Sometimes it's hard to move on.

I get that.

I get it more than I've ever gotten it in my life!

I’m certainly not in a hurry to move on but sense it happening anyhow.

But dammit! I see it coming and I'm not going to be surprised this time!

Sarah and I have just finished the loveliest lunch. 

She had warm buttered and salted bread while I had a doctored up frozen Nathan's Hot Dog with spicy mustard. She had Ginger Ale. I had a "Becks" in a frosty mug.

It took about 15 minutes as Sarah's waited on work calls and I'd just finished smoking weed.

Let me pause for a moment to say that if you have cancer and it's killing you, I recommend Marijuana, regardless of it's legality in your world/country/state/city/church/civic club/chat group or cliché.

I am testifying now with the LORD as my witness, the shit works!

Anyway, Che's at school, as is Cassidy and Laurel's at work as their Mom crams 3 days of work into a single morning, while shopping for school clothes, paying bills, planning a surprise trip and ordering books from the Library.

But in these moments it's just the two of us.

We eat and laugh.

Cancer, COVID, Children, Civics and Costa Rica comprise our conversation.

We don't care.

Her phone buzzes and she dashes to her work space.

I recently read when a Swan sings, it's most beautiful before they die. 

Their Swan Song.

In our culture, it's come to mean taking the last trip around, the final curtain call, the last bow.

I know it's where I am right now.

Life can't possibly get more beautiful than this.