Straight Ahead

I am standing underneath it before I can completely see that it really is a Palm Tree. The fog is so dense that even the lighthouse is hidden from view. I let go of Goddess’ leash but she only runs for a second before bringing it back to me. She doesn’t know where to go. I can see about ten feet in front of me. We make our way to Shirley’s sad little holy dock and walk into middle of the fog. It welcomes us with an embrace and we are one, hidden from the rest of the world, where little light shines.

This has been my life for the past year.

Eventually we leave the dock and as we make our way passed Artie’s house he comes out to give Goddess her morning treats. He asks me where I’ve been and I tell him. Then I tell him that I’m off to Atlanta tomorrow for “Savannah Day” which should be called the “Seafood and Lobby-fest”.

“Isn’t that the last time you saw …”?

I nodded my head from side to side. “No I saw her once more since then.”

“It’s only been a year?” he asked. “It seems a lot longer.”

“Tell me about it,” I reply.

Then Goddess and I make our way back into the blanket of fog, hidden from all save those who seek us out.

I run the beach but unless I am within a few feet of the ocean it cannot be seen. I guess which street I run up to carry me back home and I’m off by a block. I trip over a tree branch that has washed ashore because I am on it before I can make my foot move in a different pattern. Robert Plant sings in my ears.

New tides surprise my world it's changing
Within this frame an ocean swells
Behind this smile I know it well
Beneath a lover's moon I'm waiting
I am the pilot of the storm Adrift in pleasure I may drown

“I want you happy,” she had said.

“Me too,” I’d replied.

Then I got notes. One from someone who I know loves me but hasn’t given the best advice over the past year or so.

“Of course I'm interested and I too want you to be happy; and for you to get there you got to get out of the past! It is no longer; it's unchangeable and it's weary!”

“Create some new tomorrows / visions / breakthroughs ---- You still can!!”

I thought it to be an odd cheerleader speech and wrote back, “I got it. Straight ahead!”

I ponder his words in the fog and then count them as premature. What he’s saying is right. His timing is wrong. Then I think of the things that I’ve accomplished in the past year that seems like ten.

New tides surprise my changing world. I’ve found my smile. I wait beneath this lover’s moon. I’m piloting my own course through this storm.

Finishing the run I grab Goddess for another walk around the block so that I can cool down. We return to the fog. And standing on the end of Shirley’s sad little holy dock, the sun burst through in brilliance.