The Coffee Conclave

Guy Sayles started in it when we were in Seminary. Guy doesn’t especially want anyone to know that we went to Seminary together, but we did. It’s his fault.

He called me.

Every morning at ten o’clock classes ceased and there was a Chapel service. In typical Baptist fashion attendance was not required but it was clearly stated in the Student Handbook, Section III Article A that you …“would rot and burn in the hottest parts hell if you didn’t go.”

So we went and did homework or took naps. The religious people at Seminary seemed to enjoy it. The rest of us just tried to catch up.

Then one day Guy couldn’t take it anymore and announced that the Angel Gabriel had shown up at his and Anita’s place the previous night. Guy’s a terrific cook so none of had any doubt whatsoever that this could have happened. We doubted many things in Seminary … especially the Baptist exclusion of gays as there were so many there. But we doubted Guy’s cooking abilities.

Evidently over after dinner coffee Guy and the Angel Gabriel were chatting and having a cigar. The Angel Gabriel looked over and spoke to Guy. “You know, that part of the Student Handbook isn’t inerrant. In fact Guy, it is fallible. You guys should skip Chapel and go get coffee.”

The next day Guy told us this and so ... it came to pass.

We would pile in Bill Stooksbury’s car and drive to the Mall where there was Conti’s Coffee shop. There were a bunch of old men having coffee and no table was available. Deciding that we had God on our side because it was the Angel Gabriel who had spoken from on high (or maybe it was that Guy was high? We never bothered to ask.) we did a hostile takeover of one of the tables.

And that is how the Coffee Conclave was born!

A conclave is a private or secret meeting. It is especially “a meeting of Roman Catholic Cardinals.” Apparently the Angel Gabriel informed Guy of this information and told him to name us this as we skipped Chapel at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.

We would gather every day over coffee and Guy and Bill Stooksbury were in charge. (A few descriptive words about Stooksbury: The guy was born a Baptist minister! Meaning he was born in a three-piece suit! He had Baptist hair, thick, wild and combed over! He would whip out his handkerchief at a moment’s notice a cry on cue! He was incredible!)

It was Guy’s meeting though!

As far as any of us knew, Stooksbury had been spoken to by (a) the Angel Gabriel; (b) an Angel; (c) God; (d) Jesus; (d) the Holy Spirit; (e) the God of any other major religion; (f) the God of any minor religion … you get my point. Stooksbury was a born Minister!

And Guy would make us talk about religion over coffee which is far preferable to listening to mostly old white men talk about God in Chapel.

Though in honesty what I mostly remember is how much we laughed … and grew to love one another ... and challenged one another to step out from under the rock (get it? Jesus said to St. Peter “Upon this rock I will build my church.” Who knew the rock could land on top of so many people squishing the life out them?).

It was an intense and wonderful time. I think we learned far more from each other than we ever did in Seminary.

Today I intended to write about how the Breakfast Club celebrated April Fool’s Day (have you ever poured Mountain Dew in a bucket, thrown toilet paper on top, placed the containers in the restrooms and put “Out of Order” signs on the bathroom doors? Me neither … but they have!).

But then the Angel Gabriel showed up and asked me what I was going to write about? I told him. He asked for a Screwdriver. I fixed him one.

He told me to fix me one.

When an Angel tells you to do something, you do it.

“Don’t write about that,” he said showing off a really beautiful leg with a high slit in his robe. “Let me tell you what to write about.”

So I did.