Sitting at the buffet on the ocean, I’m watching one cruise ship head in one direction as the one I’m sitting on heads in the other. The sea is majestic, the sky is blue, the salty breeze is refreshing as the coffee hits the spot.
Johnny O and Judy O are eating breakfast which boggles my mind given the twenty-eight course meal that we had last night. Dedra is talking without breathing. Cheryl and Jodee are nowhere to be found. I am afraid that Sarah is dead.
But we had a good time … we think.
I’ll get back to you on that.
I confess that I am not a cruiser. The last one I was on was 12 years ago. It’s kind of like Camp at Sea but we’d promised the kids so we did. I swore that I would never do that again.
I’m an island hopper. I like going to one and sliding into the culture. St. Martin is my island away from my island. I love the ocean though and I will say that this is a nice way to start the day, sitting with friends breathing in salt air on the deep blue sea.
It only cost us a few hundred dollars to be here and we decided it was time for a spring break for adults. So here we are.
We did not understand that the reason this cruise is so cheap is that it is sponsored by Wall Mart! Everybody else on this cruise apparently won their ticket because they appear on the People of Wall Mart web page (if you’ve never visited it … do it!).
How many fat people can you fir into a hot tub?
They jump into a hot tub full of water, causing a tsunami and when they get out the hot tub is empty.
How many people in baseball caps missing a front tooth does it take to start a stampede?
The answer is one.
If one makes his or her way to the buffet the entire damn ship stops what they’re doing and wobbles like hell to get in line.
Dedra just shut everybody up when she said, “You know I look at people and say … I used to dress like that.”
“You dressed in brown shorts and plaid turquoise pants with an extra wide butt?”
She confesses that she did.
This is the first day of Adult Spring break. The cruise ship director (a real pain-in-the-ass) has us scheduled to conduct a hostile takeover of Nassau, Bahamas at 12:00 noon. The city will capitulate in record time.
Well, now all of the children have woken up and are screaming that they don’t want that for breakfast. “I WANT McDONALD’S!)
The cruise director (a real-pain-in-the-ass) has informed us that we must be back on the boat to disembark Nassau by 8:00 or we may be left behind.
If Sarah ever gets up, I’m going to try to talk her into staying.
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