Petty

I've always tried to stay on the High Road as I've lived my life.

The Low Road is so crowded.

On a cruise ship last week we noticed that the deck chairs around the swimming pool were packed tightly together and each was occupied. There was hardly room to walk between them. Even where there weren't any chairs, people sat at tables or at the bar ... watching the pool which was of course full. But everybody was facing the same way, looking at the same thing, determined to keep their space. Someone would stand to pee or something and people hovered over their chair, wanting it ... lusting after it.

I couldn't handle it.

It was madness.

Making our way up top, it was less crowded. There were the same deck chairs but with more space between them. We turned them in whatever direction we wished. There was the option of looking down on the crowded pool and the crazy collection down there.

But ... we had an ocean breeze. We had the ocean! Standing with my back to the crowds, I stared out at the sea. Majestic and blue, it was endless ... with possibilities and promise. There were fewer of us taking notice of it. I stood there peering into the future though very mindful of where I've come from ... and who and what brought me to this place in my life.

After decades of it, I'm not obligated to anybody or any institution right now. I can say or do what I want. I can name names. I can open my heart and let you walk inside. I can be ... honest ... which is a very High Road thing to aspire to. I can share it with a conviction that it helps others and that's also a trait of the High Road.

People criticize me for it. I no longer care. No matter what I do, I'm criticized for it. They can be self-righteousness and call me petty.

It doesn't matter.

What does matter is that I'm being true to myself. Others ... lots of others ... seem to find comfort or challenge in my sharing. It seems as though a community is being born ... a global one. Instant messages and long private ones fly across cyber space in real time. My mornings are taken away to converse with people who connect with whatever I am sharing. There's something holy about it that I'm still trying to figure out.

There's the other side too. Last night an old friend told me Shame on you for saying things you shouldn't say and naming names you shouldn't name.

I have nothing to be ashamed of ... I've given all of my best and I still try to do so.

My friend Phil Schaengold once said that "old CEO's should just go away." He was referring to my dear friend Bob Colvin, an old CEO who wasn't going away. A short time later, Phil was an old CEO going away.

I remember when he said this in the hallway of Memorial Health University Medical Center and being a little shocked by it. Bob had done many great things that made this city better. Why should he have to go anywhere?

Then again, I am a man of faith. Jesus was killed and buried. He wasn't supposed to be heard from again ... but he was.

I will be too.