Joy

My Face Book locator informs me that my status update was written near Woodbridge, VA which is funny because I'm actually in a tiny village in Belize. The miracles of technology! I have no idea where Woodbridge is but am fairly certain that it's not beside the ocean. (OK, I goggled it and it is near a bay so perhaps it was the currents that carried my status update from the Caribbean Sea to near Woodbrige.

God works in mysterious ways.

The sun and the clouds are playing tag this morning. Bright sunshine floods the sea only to be tagged by shades of clouds. Then the sun slaps back and its sunshine again, like two little kids laughing and playing. Rain falls off in the distance but not on me. It is out there and I see it as the storm that I've lived through but am no longer inside. I made it through.

The past week has been full of celebration and full of well wishers. Photographs and films clearly capture the happiness and joy that a full moon cast down upon us. Well wishers from around the world chimmed in with thumbs up images or messages of affirmation. Joy is more so when it is shared and it is obvious in the images. That is the sun shine of my now.

The storm is sweeping over the Atolls in the distance, a long line of purple with darker lines shoot water below on the trees swimming in the sea. I have no idea how long I've been staring at it when my mind comes back to the computer screen. That storm is a symbolic visualization of the past several years.

It's also interesting to take notice of those who used to be part of my life but aren't anymore. If they took notice of the changes that I've undergone or give a Tinker's Damn that I'm alright now, they no longer care enough to say so. Perhaps they're all in the middle of their own storms and their lives have been blown to far away places like Woodville or Hell. They're just doing their best to get by just like I did. I'll say a prayer for them and get on with this new joy that fills me now.

It is funny though how once you've survived bad times, a cautiousness grows inside making you supicious of the good happening in your life. We tell ourselves, this is too good to be true ... so it's not.

I believe that all we have is this moment.

The past are memories and stories, dreams and bones, scars and wonderment.

The future is our box of hopes doused in the realities of circumstance, determinations and faith.

What is have is now ... and apparently I am not where I'm supposed to be according to the beliefs of a lot of people, or according to technology indicators, but I am where my joy is.