Making myself grateful

Even when you do unto others as you would have them do to you ... it pisses somebody off.

For the most part I really try to live this way. If someone asks me for something I'm usually predisposed to give it to them unless I can't.

I'm pretty quick to respond to people who want to talk to me.

I try not to leave things undone.

I don't mind initiating communication with others even though I haven't heard from them in forever and I know they can't just as easily pick up the phone and text me.

I don't know why I'm this way but I am. It's in my DNA. It's a core set of beliefs in my faith. Jesus is the one who said to treat others as you want to be treated and I was raised on Jesus so its pretty ingrained. Sometimes I've given far more of myself than I should but I really don't know any other way to live.

That's not to say I haven't met my fair share of assholes because I know a few that are in that Hall of Fame. I don't enjoy encountering these people though I try to keep my distance. When I do see them I try to be mature and take the high road.

I wasn't always like this. I've told some folks off and on a couple of occasions got so angry I demanded them to do something to themselves that is anatomically impossible. It didn't make me feel any better and certainly didn't help the situation.

Plus I've seen a lot of people get treated pretty shitty by the Church, the government, their bosses, co-workers, families and, often times, themselves. I tried to be pretty nice to them because I wanted them to be pretty nice to me too. Most times they were.

I like myself the way I am these days. Oh I need to drop a few pounds and eat better and such but I'm pretty comfortable with me.

It's funny too. I spent decades doing things for others on a pretty grand scale. For the last three years though I've been pretty focused just on me. Sarah is my partner and I am so grateful for the gift of her on my life. She wants what is best for me and is pretty veracious about it. And she's beautiful to watch when she's doing it.

There's a tiny collection of friends too who have been wonderfully consistent and celebratory about most everything. They have their own struggles and issues but there is a wonderful chemistry when we're together that embodies love, concern and laughter.

I've got my own worries too. Baby always needs a new pair of shoes and money must always be made or things get rough.

But for now anyway, I have this gift of time when its just Sarah and me, the kids and our little Carnival of friends. There are lots of hours to think, pray, write and hope. There is a sense that something else is coming and it's going to be big! This is a time of  getting ready though I'm not real certain about everything we're getting ready for.

So I make myself be grateful for this time. For the wonderful place we live. For birds singing, friends laughing, the smell of the marsh and the sound of the sea are the foundations of my life. So I thank and will do my best to do well by them again today.