My Sermons

The reputation has always been that I shoot from the hip.

Someone says something, or I have something to say, and I come across as though it instantly came to me as though God Herself sent me a Divine message.

Sometimes it happens that way but most of the time I labor over the things I'm going to say.

I learned both in Seminary.

Let me be clear, there is a great deal I did not learn in Seminary ... and had no interest whatsoever in learning ... like how to dress in the Pulpit!

Give me a freaking break!

Mike Ruffin and I had to sit through a lecture on keeping our socks up while sitting in front of a congregation waiting to preach!

If our socks weren't pulled all the way up then God isn't honored, Jesus remains in the tomb and it's we spray paint graffiti over our Bibles.

That's when God led me to stop wearing socks!

What I did learn in Seminary though is that if I'm going to be arrogant enough to speak for God for 20 minutes or so once a week, I should give it serious thought and prayer.

So I took to writing it all out in advance.

It ended up being good for me because that's how I became a writer (9 books and counting ... number 10 coming soon!)

The "shoot from the hip" delivery of my sermons I learned during Seminary but not at the school.

My congregation was homeless people, drug addicts, prostitutes, inner city kids, the sick and other Seminarians who hated Church.

I had to adapt to a lot of things of things quickly when I preached.

"WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" a homeless guy high on crack holding a baseball bat once inquired in the middle of one of my sermons.

"What would Jesus do?" I thought to myself.

I didn't have to think about it much because a bunch of other homeless guys pounced on him, took the baseball bat and beat the shit out of him in the aisle between the 3rd and 4th pews.

When it was over, I was glad I'd written the sermon out and it was there on paper in front of me.

Picking up right where I'd left off, I took the Southern Baptist approach I'd learned in Seminary that if I pretended something hadn't just happened then ... it really didn't happen.

In spite of the unconscious high homeless man bleeding in the aisle between the 3rd and 4th pews!

All of that to say ... when God told Sam Adams to tell me to preach at Bar Church this week, I went to work immediately ... as soon as Sam called asking what the Scripture verses are going to be so he print them in advance.

That was a few days ago ... but the sermon's mostly done.

I'll keep tinkering with it until it's time to actually give it.

Everything should go fine ... unless someone asks me what the fuck I'm doing in the middle of the sermon.

It's a good question.

I'm glad I've got the answer written down.