Things I don't understand on Tybee Island

I have two master's degrees obtained from fine southern academic institutions.

I am a graduate of the doctor's program with black and blue honors from Hard Knocks University.

I've survived near death experiences, divorces and being raised Southern Baptist.

HELL! I even survived working with Jerry Rainey!!

I know things and how to get things done.

Yet, there are things I simply do not understand.

On the island of Tybee ... two men drive a garbage truck with an automated lift to grab the can, hoist it over the truck for empting and set it back on the ground. Neither man has to get out of the truck.

What's the second guy for and how much does he make?

Also on the isle of Tybee ... two miles of road are lined with orange cones reducing traffic from two lanes leaving the island to one ... so one truck can water one plant at a time. The lane remains blocked during the Master Water Man's lunch break and long after he's done!

Why is that?

During Orange Crush ... an annual gathering of college kids from mostly African-American colleges (and my personal favorite island holiday!) the Tybee Island Methodist Church blocked itself off with yellow crime scene tape apparently because of the threat of black people attending!

How pissed off do you think God still is?

I could go on because there are so many unanswerable questions.

• When Animal Control makes a home visit why do they bring police backup?

• How many police officers can eat lunch at the very excellent Sundae Café at the same time every day?

• Who is the incredibly clever graphic artist who takes black duct tape and adds appendices on the black stick man on the yellow crossing signs at every crosswalk?

• How many stop signs are there on this island and how many other small towns don't have any because Tybee has them all?

• Why does one get in serious trouble with the authorities ... be it government, religious, public service ... because they ask questions publically?

I wish I knew these things.

Alas, I don't.