Double Secret Missionary Journies

"My friend Michael Ruffin has been hired by Smyth & Hewlys," I tell my son Jeremy on the phone.

Smyth & Hewlys is a religious publishing company.

Michael Ruffin and I went to Seminary together at the same time ... he and his "Good Wife" had the incredible misfortune of living below Bill Berry ... not the former drummer for REM but the other one.

I'd often go to Bill Berry's apartment when his wife Kathy wasn't home with a brown bag full of Bibles.

That's a lie ... it was a six pack of beer but as Michael Ruffin saw me walking in, I'd say something like, "We're on a Double Secret Missionary Journey that I'm not at liberty to discuss."

Because we're attending a Southern Baptist Seminary, Michael Ruffin nods his head indicating he completely understands.

Southern Baptists pioneered religious terrorism ... well ... I mean the Catholics set the bar with the Inquisition ... ISIS is now trying to raise the bar but Southern Baptist hold the record for lynching's.

Then Michael Ruffin would go to the class Bill Berry and I were skipping to drink a cold one.

The pizza arrives so Bill Berry and I would open beer number two, stuff a slice down our throats and say, "GOD IS GOOD."

I loved Seminary.

Except for that time we tried to sue each other ... but that's another story.

Regardless I'm telling Jeremy about Michael Ruffin's good fortune when I'm interrupted.

"Smyth & Helwys?" my son asks. "I have a good friend who works there. I told him that you'd published with them."

"Who's your Dad?" my son's friend asks.

So ... a long time ago ... Smyth & Helwys was a new publishing company that needed authors.

Scott Nash was their higher something there and he'd attended Seminary with Michael Ruffin, Bill Berry and me.

I'd already published some books and Scott really wanted to sign me ... which is what happened.

My first book with them was "Running with the Dolphins and other Tybee Tails" which had absolutely nothing to do with religion, Michael Ruffin, Southern Baptists or Bill Berry.

It's about the beach.

Jeremy's good friend who now works for Smyth & Helwys says, "That's YOUR Dad? He wrote the biggest seller we ever had."

So ... after that Scott Nash asked if I would write a religious book for the religious Publishing firm he oversaw and, of course, being a good Christian ... I agreed.

"Playing Hide & Seek: A Non-Church Goers Guide to God" was then published by Smyth & Helwys  and ... Scott Nash disappeared from the face of the earth and the Publisher stopped taking my calls.

All that to say ... Michael Ruffin if it's helpful ... use my name.

And congratulations Buddy!

You deserve this!

Have you heard anything from Bill Berry?