The Anti-Rev

"He's the Anti-Rev," Lona Crask says in an attempt to explain what I've just said.

Dobby Simmons is trying to lift his music stand so he can see it but is having difficulty ...

so the "Rev" in me comes out ...

and with outstretched arms I yell ... "IN THE NAME OF J-HE-SAS-AH, I COMMAND THEE TO RAISE."

Immediately the music stand rises and Dobby thinks a miracle just happened.

The musicians at Monty Parks weekly jam laugh or ... start praying for me.

I'm feeling pretty good about it all and blow on my fingers cause they are H.O.T. hot.

This is when Lona tries to explain a miracle.

You can't explain miracles.

I learned that in Seminary.

Just like ... other substances ... they happen.

I've been an ordained minister for most of my life ... 3 and a half decades ... though I was a pretty religious child before (if you don't count the beer and the girls).

I've never tried to be too serious about it.

There's a lot of pomp and circumstance that comes with religion I try to avoid ... except at weddings and funerals.

Take away the weddings and the funerals and the pomp and circumstance of religion resembles political rallies.

I don't believe God cares much politics.

I believe worship should be fun ... a celebration of things ... a happy opportunity to be with others and the oft chance God's stopping by.

So if being the Anti-Rev is like ... being Anti-Freeze ... I'm cool with it ... cause I hate the cold ... and like it hot.

I crack myself up.

And for you non-believers ... God's laughing here with me.

Having said that ... I also believe religion is mostly a personal matter between God and me.

We spend lots of time together ... mostly in silence ... though when we do talk, it's mostly me ... because God likes to listen ... which makes sense ... cause God can tackle my unanswerable questions and leave the other stuff for me work out on my own ... which I'm perfectly capable of anyway.

When two or three gather in God's name I believe it should be a party.

Who gets to hang out with God?

WE DO!

It's pretty cool!

But most people think going to Church is like going to a funeral ... you get all dressed up and serious ... you have to feel bad before you feel good ... and God's talked about like She's dead but ... IS COMING BACK! ... like a sequel or something.

I don't believe that.

God's right here.

Right now!

And we're enjoying the Hell out of my life.

Because that's how you get to Heaven.