The Guardian Angel Sessions

"I don't need you anymore," she says after suddenly appearing without any warning.

"Great," I reply. "Does that mean you're going to leave me alone?"

"I wish," she snaps spitting a loogy over the Back Deck into the dark night. "Apparently you're a permanent assignment."

It makes me snort as she takes a long draw from her PBR, chased with a shot of bourbon and a drag from her cigarette.

My Guardian Angel looks like a meth addict ... pasty white ... so skinny her dirty robe keeps falling off her shoulder exposing a breast ... and a voice that sounds like Janice Joplin on a bad day.

"Well," I say leaning over to face her, "if you don't need me anymore but God's keeping you under contract ... what does that mean?"

Spitting another loogy, she points the cigarette at me ... "I have my own album."

Bursting into laughter, leaning over to hold my belly, it takes me a moment to find myself before saying, "I've heard you talk ... you can't sing."

She throws her empty beer can at me hitting me the arm.

"HEY!" I yell.

"I was aiming for your head," she snarls.

"You missed," I say rubbing my arm. "If you can't hit my head what makes you think you can hit a note?"

"It's not my album," she hisses. "Sean McNally and his band "IN FOR WHATEVER THEY CAN GET" did an album about me. I'm on the cover."

"His band is 'IN FOR A PENNY,'" I clarify.

"Yeah, what I said," she further clarifies.

"That's great!" I say pulling her robe back over her shoulder.

"You think so?" she asks in a little girl sort of voice.

"Oh yeah! Sean's great! I hope they make a lot of pennies."

"Me too," she cries and ... for the first time in our relationship ... she hugs me.

"You think Jimmy Cochran is going to write a song about me?" she asks wiping snot from her nose.

"I dunno," I say standing back to breath fresh air. "Perhaps if you washed your robe ... your hair ... body ... clean up your language ... Jimmy likes clean stuff."

"You think he'll like the album," she asks with bright red eyes.

"Oh yeah," I lie.

"Alright, I gotta go see him," she grins and disappears.

And I swear to God, I hear muffled laughter coming down from Heaven.