Scheduling a Prayer on Tybee Island

I was asked to deliver the prayer before a Tybee Island City Council meeting.

Sort of.

A Councilman asked and then told me to call the Government complex and ask for Nadine to get myself scheduled to pray.

The process struck me as ludicrous so ... I ignored it.

Then the City Manager asked me to deliver the prayer before a Tybee Island City Council meeting instructing me to call the Government complex and ask for Nadine to get myself scheduled to pray.

I'm curious as to why Nadine doesn't know how to use a phone to follow through on aforementioned requests to pray.

Regardless, the prayer's ready!

It goes like this:

Our father … our Mother … the one who loves us more than we’re capable of loving each other or ourselves … or everything in the world you gave us without our asking … and everything in it too

Who art in Heaven … the tangible reality of everything we wish for … work for … desire for … lust after … lie for … kill for … because it’s everything we want but not everything we have

Thy Kingdom come … because God knows we  know what we’re working for and your timeline is unacceptable … we can do better … we can make it happen now … so we’re not waiting on you

On earth as it is in Heaven … … even though you haven’t specified exactly everything your Kingdom requires … everything it demands … we’ve got a pretty good idea … there are no plastic bags littering the beaches … lots of Stop signs … heavily patrolled … ticketed whenever possible and tased when necessary … to keep things Heavenly

Give us this day our daily bread … and we really appreciate the fact you’ve already delivered on this one … we’ve got great food on this island … fresh fish to catch in the Sea … the best Shrimp anywhere … damn Blue Crabs for Jesus sake … lots of restaurants … terrific bars … excellent music … we’ll soon pass a resolution commending you on this one

And forgive us our trespasses … Lord we’ve referred this one to the City Attorney for clarification and once Bubba gets back to us a new study committee will be formed to make certain we clearly understand whatever trespasses you seem to believe we’ve committed

As we forgive those who trespass against us … Lord we have a clear and concise understanding of each and every person who has trespassed against us so we know who is who … the forgiving part needs further study though so we are again referring this to Bubba for clarification before being forwarded to another new study committee

And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil … we’ve got this one covered Lord … we’ve hired the best consultants, lawyers and management and we are squeaky clean … above ethics charges, Open records violations, particularly from the Police Department when elected officials run stop signs or absolutely anything not literally in compliance with the Core beliefs of Forever Tybee

For Thine is the Kingdom, the Power and the Glory … and we appreciate you delegating this to our oversight … a full and detailed report on our successful accomplishments is forthcoming

Forever and forever … we really like this set up and see no need to make any changes at this time.

Amen