Dreaming of a white Christmas?

Santa Claus and Jesus, according to FOX News' Megyn Kelly, are WHITE!

Lots of people are up in arms hearing this news ... especially black, brown, olive, red and yellow skin people ... but Megyn's just reporting the facts as she knows them.

It's not like she's the first person to say stupid shit in public.

The Southern Baptist Convention has proclaimed that Santa and Jesus were white men since the Civil War!

The fact is Santa Claus was from Turkey while Jesus was born in Israel. Both could have been light skinned but naturally tan easily.

Both could have been black skinned too ... with blue eyes!

Who knows?

The Coca Cola marketing department invented what Santa Claus looks like in the 1920s. Before that he was a tall, thin, elf who couldn't make up his mind what color coat to wear.

What Jesus looks like is anybody's guess since the Bible doesn't say one way or the other. BUT, most people living in Israel when he was born weren't white. It's a pretty good bet that he wasn't either.

You know what though, everybody dreams of a white Christmas!

Well ... except for black, brown, olive, red and yellow skin people ... and because I don't want any damn snow, I'm with them in complete solidarity!

The fact is ... "red and yellow, black and white ... all are precious in his sight."

You know why?

Cause Santa, and Jesus too, are red and yellow, black and white.
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What's a normal Christmas?

It's best to be honest, I prefer Christmas in the sand.

I'm not a snow person.

Hell! I'm not a cold weather person either! I detest it when the temperature is below 75.

I prefer Santa wear a bathing suit, mistletoe in Palm Trees, waves breaking on the reef, and stockings hung from the mast!

It's not normal Christmas behavior but then again I've never cared about "normal."

Then again, what is normal Christmas behavior?

If you want to set up a plastic Jesus in a manger, stay inside a church building or shop till you drop as ways of bringing good tidings of comfort and joy, I say "Go for it!"

I'd rather work on my tan, listen to some good tunes and look at Sarah in her bikini! I'd rather sail with Captain Morgan, skinny dip with good friends and cool off in the ocean! I'd rather have seafood pot pie, steamed oysters and hush puppies! I'd rather snuggle with Sarah in a hammock and find our presents under the Palm Tree!

Now that's a Christmas to enjoy!

What's your favorite way to enjoy Christmas?
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