God's Silence

She lost her job, can no longer afford the place she lives and is trying with everything in her not to panic.

Already having suffered through tremendous loss ... deaths and divorces ... hope is hard to hold onto.

With little other choice, she's taking everything one day at a time.

There are people who love her but they can do little more than say so.

More than ever, she's appreciative of every act of kindness shown to her.

And more than ever she believes in God.

Each of her prayers being with the word "Why?" or "Please!"

God remains silent during these times which tests her faith but she doesn't know what else to believe in because Karma doesn't seem to be working out, magic's never happened and other religions don't seem right.

It doesn't take long to weigh few options.

"It all works out the way it's supposed to," she says to anyone who asks because it's better than blaming others or, worse, herself.

So she works in her tiny garden, pulling weeds, talking to flowers and desperately tries to grow more hope.

Staring at the dirt on her hands, she feels the sun shine and pauses to notice it hanging in a deep blue, cloudless sky and feels like crying but doesn't.

Birds sing and she looses herself in their songs.

Perhaps a minute later, though it could have been thirty, she's still sitting beside the tiny garden where there's nothing else for her to do.

"I just don't understand," she says out loud. "Please let it work out somehow!"

And the sun shines.

The birds sing.

God remains silent.

And she tastes the salt water rolling down her face.