Getting sick forces you to face your mortality.
I happen to have lots of friends experiencing this at the same time, each diagnosed with some form of cancer and each fighting to live knowing there is a finality to this life as we know it.
Amber's been in treatment for over a year now. Wanda just had a mastectomy. Gyni got a crew cut in front of his students. Guy turns his treatment into thoughtful sermons to lift the rest of us while he's down.
My morning ritual is to focus on each of them, conjuring up their faces and sending them prayers, good Karma and whispers of love.
I wish there was more I could do but for now that seems all.
Now I have pneumonia and while that's not cancer it does give me pause.
I take a shit load of medicine, drink gallons of water, hate the breathing treatments because they make me cough to spit up the infection and that hurts like Hell.
Of course my prognosis is good and I feel alright most of the time so, while I know the Grim Reaper can show up anywhere and anytime, I'm not too worried.
Such times force you to evaluate your life and ask if you've done everything you've wanted or needed.
Never one to wait, I've experienced lots of things, seen wishes come true, lived dreams, and while I've had my fair share of heartbreak and tragedy, I still want more.
I don't wait until the time is right to do things because there's only NOW as far as I'm concerned.
Sitting here healing, I'm thankful each of my friends are still here, pretty happy I am too, enjoying a brilliant blue sky, choirs of birds singing Hymns of Praise, bathed in warm sunshine, watching flowers bloom, on an island full of friends, at a house full of love.
Memorial Day weekend is time to remember the things we've lost but also a celebration of the life we have and I'm doing both this weekend!
To the losses I say thanks. As difficult and as painful as you were, in spite of the scars I carry because of you, I'm still here, stronger and wiser because of your inflictions.
To the life I have now I celebrate as I never have before, incredibly thankful just to be here, surrounded with people who've more than demonstrated love for me, in a place I love, with Sarah and with plans to enjoy more of this life before the time to face whatever it is that comes next.
Happy Day Everyone!
It's yours to enjoy!
No comments:
Post a Comment