A Day to Enjoy

Getting sick forces you to face your mortality.

I happen to have lots of friends experiencing this at the same time, each diagnosed with some form of cancer and each fighting to live knowing there is a finality to this life as we know it.

Amber's been in treatment for over a year now. Wanda just had a mastectomy. Gyni got a crew cut in front of his students. Guy turns his treatment into thoughtful sermons to lift the rest of us while he's down.

My morning ritual is to focus on each of them, conjuring up their faces and sending them prayers, good Karma and whispers of love.

I wish there was more I could do but for now that seems all.

Now I have pneumonia and while that's not cancer it does give me pause.

I take a shit load of medicine, drink gallons of water, hate the breathing treatments because they make me cough to spit up the infection and that hurts like Hell.

Of course my prognosis is good and I feel alright most of the time so, while I know the Grim Reaper can show up anywhere and anytime, I'm not too worried.

Such times force you to evaluate your life and ask if you've done everything you've wanted or needed.

Never one to wait, I've experienced lots of things, seen wishes come true, lived dreams, and while I've had my fair share of heartbreak and tragedy, I still want more.

I don't wait until the time is right to do things because there's only NOW as far as I'm concerned.

Sitting here healing, I'm thankful each of my friends are still here, pretty happy I am too, enjoying a brilliant blue sky, choirs of birds singing Hymns of Praise, bathed in warm sunshine, watching flowers bloom, on an island full of friends, at a house full of love.

Memorial Day weekend is time to remember the things we've lost but also a celebration of the life we have and I'm doing both this weekend!

To the losses I say thanks. As difficult and as painful as you were, in spite of the scars I carry because of you, I'm still here, stronger and wiser because of your inflictions.

To the life I have now I celebrate as I never have before, incredibly thankful just to be here, surrounded with people who've more than demonstrated love for me, in a place I love, with Sarah and with plans to enjoy more of this life before the time to face whatever it is that comes next.

Happy Day Everyone!

It's yours to enjoy!

The Ingridents for Happiness

Love is rare
Life is strange
Nothing lasts
People change

These lines from a wonderful song, "Old Friend" performed by Michael Feinstein, is beautifully melodious and sang as though one friend talks to another.

They're in a bar after one's relationship falls apart and the other is listening to the sad tale.

Everything sung in the chorus is an absolute truth!

Love comes and goes, bursts into brilliance or burns out slowly, sometimes lingering forever or may abruptly leave. You have to "Make Love", meaning it takes two which is tricky because often it's only one working on it while the other takes advantage. One day you wake up and realize you really are in love or ... you've merely been taken advantage of. Love really is rare.

Life is certainly strange. Just when you think you've figured it out you're jerked in another direction. It's chock full of surprises, unexpected opportunities and tragic things. Sometimes it's funny, boring, hurtful, lonely, or shocking though it has a definite ending that catches us all by surprise. None of us know how much life we have so no one's prepared when it stops.

Nothing last! "All things must pass," sang the Major Prophet George Harrison. Sunrises, sunsets, days, weeks, and years all slip away. Friends don't last, marriages end one way or another, churches go out of business, Governments crumble, the binding in books crack and stars and planets eventually die.

For sure, people change. I'm not who I once was though there's a funny quirk that I  think everyone else should stay the same. We don't! The best of us grow and keep at it right up until we die. Others get stuck even as they long for something different. Change takes courage, the ability to throw caution to the wind and a hearty dose of foolishness. The funny thing is even if we work out hardest to keep everything as it is, people still change.

But ... love ... life ... appreciating what we've got ... the friends we have ... those are the ingredients for happiness.

The trick is mixing them in the right proportions.

The other trick is to keep baking new cakes. You've got to always be mixing and remixing your love, life, accepting what and where you're at, and knowing who your friends are ... or unhappiness grows.

Take a moment now and do an inventory. Who do you love? What's strange about your life? What are the things important to you these days? Who are your friends?

Then throw in pinches of yourself and mix your happiness for today.

And do it again tomorrow!
__________________________________________

There still time to register for "Doing the Right Things for you" my online class that begins in December. Just click to www.meellc.com/onlineclass

Is your life Heaven or Hell?

I think everything mostly works out the way it should.

That's not to say there's not crazy surprises, unexpected turns, scary moments and horrible falls along the way. But there's unanticipated delights, miraculous discoveries, wonderful things and exhilarating heights too.

At least that's my life so far.

It's probably yours too.

When the bad things happen ... deaths or divorce, friends who prove they're really not, car wrecks, broken promises and nightmares of the night ... we're naturally shocked.

Then it turns into anger because we rail against the injustice of life not being perfect!

Because we want perfect lives.

Yet none of us have one.

Though lots of people pretend to.

When good things happen ... love, marriage, friends who are consistently so,  disasters that are near misses, kept promises and dreams that come true ...we are ecstatic!

Then we downplay it.

We minimize the good and exaggerate the bad.

Why are we wired that way?

The other day Johnny O and I are sitting at The Breakfast Club having coffee and he says, "We've got six-and-a-half marriages between us."

I wince because, though it's true, it's not something I care to think about.

I'm the happiest I've ever been though Sarah would often shoot me if she didn't love me so much. Johnny O's the happiest he's been since I've known him, which is a very long time.

"We should start a business together," he continues. "Anybody thinking about getting married should call us first. We'll guide them through it all. I mean ... we've already experienced everything so others should benefit from our experience.  A small fee will save lifetimes of heartache or pave the highway to happy lives like ours!"

I can't think of anything to say.

"One call ... that's all," he says with a beaming smile.

It's hard to not love Johnny O.

"Hope for the best and plan for the worst" is something I used to say.

Now I try to simply take life as it comes. I try to help others do that too.

Taken all at once life can kill you and believe me, I've watched it kill lots of people I cared about.

Life's good and bad. It's not perfect. Concentrating on the bad leaves you dead even if you're still living.

Holding onto the good makes it more enjoyable and I believe life's to be relished because, either way, it doesn't last forever.

Even the worst times have silver linings of good and the best of times always boarder on disaster.

There's Heaven and Hell.

It's just a question of which are you going to hold on to.
___________________________________________________
Already overwhelmed by the Holidays? We can help if you register for "Doing what's Right for You" a wonderful journey where you celebrate you! Just Click www.meellc.com/onlineclasses

Life outside of the box

Is the money I make worth the price that I pay? asked Graham Nash.

I vividly remember sitting in the floor in front of the television when The Beatles were on Ed Sullivan with my Dad complaining, "They'll never be Elvis.

"And in the end ..." they were more than Elvis.

Of course there would be no Beatles without Elvis.

He came first.

The only people to come close to them since are Michael Jackson and Bob Marley.

Each were incredible trailblazers leaving massive imprints on the world. Each doing what they wanted, achieving unimagined success, becoming imprisoned by it and killing four of the six before their time.

Their music remains and annually they outsell the newest stars making today's best sounds.

It makes me wonder.

All of them stepped outside of the box, forfeiting societal norms and the expectations of others to do their own thing.

And they did their own things magnificently!

So I wonder why the rest of us aren't doing our own thing?

We spend our days and nights doing other peoples things.

Going to work, taking care of parents, fulfilling the demands of religion, living in a certain place because the schools are better for the kids, working the allotted number of years before retirement ... we become indentured servants waiting on our happiness and freedom to arrive later.

When do happiness and freedom arrive?  We can all tell stories of those who do all the right things, meet each demand, fulfill every obligation, make the sacrifices to retire ... only to die soon afterwards.

I've done my time, gave others everything, met the demands, raised the kids, fulfilled expectations and ... jumped ship.

Sarah jumped too.

We washed up on a beach, tattered, torn, hurting and alone so we did what creatively, desperate people do ... shared sandy kisses. We had Sandy Bottoms & Duct Taped Hearts!

We've made a life outside of the box since then.

We're making a career outside of the box too.

And we're doing it all wrong.

We're too young.

We're investing in us now instead of later.

We're having fun.

Elvis died too young. So did John and George. The King of Pop too. Certainly Bob Marley did.

Who knows how much time we have left?

I just know I not giving mine away anymore except to the things most important to me! Not to anyone else!

Life's better outside of the box.
___________________________________________

Only a few days left to sign up for my writing workshop! You know you want to write your book! Here's your change with personal coaching from me. Give yourself a present and register now at http://www.meellc.com/wordpress/writingworkshop/

Life's Greatest Lessons

Mostly I am a teacher.

I'm a non-conventional, anti-institutional, radical free thinking, rebellious spiritual educator but, nevertheless, I teach.

I've gone through lots of indurations, from a playing football coach at the Baptist Student Union to the "Professional Christian" of an inner city church; a corporate CEO, writer, speaker, wonderful father, spiritual renegade, guitar playing beach bum, doting husband and step-less father of three little girls ("I'm your friend and you can tell me anything and I promise not to tell your Mom. I'll make you tell her. It's funnier that way.")

Each of these steps made me a better teacher.

These days people from around the world figuratively come to the beloved back deck for help living the life they really want.

They log on to my website, register for online classes, read blogs, books, instant message, call or show up knocking when I'm not home and my beautiful wife Sarah's just shut the bathroom door for some well deserved ... "quiet time."

If anyone reviews my professional educator curriculum vita they are horrified to find:

• As a grad assistant at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, I taught God was closer to saving America during the 1960s than at any other time in history but we chose to enter the 70's and God hates Disco as much as the rest of us. The seminary never invited me back.
• As an adjunct professor teaching how to raise money at Savannah State University, I instructed the class to develop their own idea to raise bucks. They devised a Topless Carwash. Girls in bikinis held signs, cars lined up and the students washed everything except the top of the cars. I gave them all "A's". The university dropped me when the class ended.
• Savannah State University fired the president, got a new one who invited me to again teach. The class was "Social Advocacy" so I asked the students which social ill needed attacking? They replied on-campus student housing so we went to war with the university. I gave them all "A's", the president fired me, then the president got fired but the students got new housing.

I finally figured out I'm a much better teacher away from academic environments.

I'm also a much better minister independent from the church and organized religion.

Many see these as a contradiction but I don't.

It's coloring outside the lines or painting without instruction, creating a masterpiece. The greatest journeys are often without destinations, fun is born in boredom, inspiration hits when its least expected, forsaken plans yield great results and we find ourselves strong at the broken places. Love conquers just when we've sworn it off once and for all.

I believe these are life's greatest lessons.

They happen outside the classroom, away from the campus, far from the church, when the book is closed, once the pen's put down and the computer is in sleep mode.

That's when we can finally talk to ourselves and listen to what we have to say.

"I come down and talk to me, when is coast is clear," is how Jimmy Buffett puts it.

But then we need someone else to share with; a confidant, interpreter, encourager and sustainer of dreams. A help-mate is the way old crazy people describe it, someone to pull us along when we forget where we were going.

That's the teaching that I do.

The first questions in today's class of life are "Where are you going?" and "Do you have any idea of how you're going to get there?"
_____________________________________

In-depth 28 day classes allow you to join others (at your own comfortable level of participation) in a private online supportive environment. Through three 45-minute teleseminars with Micheal (recorded and distributed to you in case you miss the live one), with a coordinating workbook and weekly discussions you delve deeper into your own life. Class is 100% online. Invest in yourself for just $42 per class.

Doing the Right Things for you starts  December 2013. Register now at http://www.meellc.com/wordpress/onlineclass/

God wants me to whack what???

Genesis 17
Micheal Elliott Revised not-so-standard version

1. Abram saw God when he was 99 years old and it's a miracle in and of itself he could see anything. Making it even more miraculous is that he  heard God too and there weren't even hearing aids in those days. Just for fun God says, "Walk this way ... you lead ..."
2. If you don't fall down or walk into anything I promise you this ... I'll make sure you have a lot of kids."
3. Of course Abram immediately fell down. 
4. "We're talking lots of kids," God continues while Abram lay in the dirt.
5. "And I've never liked your name either. We're changing it to Abraham ... it sounds more fatherly. We're talking about you having a shit load of kids."
6. "I'm making your loins machine gun powerful and not one bullet you shoot will be a blank. We're talking lots of kids."
7. "And I promise to be there for them just like I'm here for you now."
8. "You're going to need a really big place for all your kids so I'm giving you Canaan. It's very prime real estate. And I'm going to live there too."
9. "What?" Abraham says so God repeats everything.
10. Rolling Her eyes God says, "To make sure you don't forget, I want you to circumcise yourself. All your kids too. Well, not the girls but every single one of the boys."
11. "So go circumcise yourself and that's your end of the bargain."
12. "But wait until your sons are 8 days old before you do them. They'll scream like crazy. Oh yeah, if you have kids with Hookers or lose women ... Hell even if you adopt ... circumcise them too."
13. "And that'll be the bond between us forever."
14. "And if you don't circumcise one of them ... put him for adoption."
15. "Oh yeah! We're going to change your wife's name too. Sarai should be called Sarah. It's just sexier."
16. "And she's gonna receive those loaded bullets from your loins and pop those little blessings out!"
17. Still laying on the ground from falling down, Abraham starts laughing. "I haven't gotten it up in years! And have you seen my wife? She's older than dirt."
18. "Plus she's already got a kid. I gotta whack him too? His name's Ismael. You're going to look after him too, right?"
19. And God said, "Listen you old fart! Your wife is getting ready to be knocked up and you're the man whose going to do it. And I want you to name him Isaac ... I like these naming opportunities. He's going to have lots of kids too."
20. "Yeah, I hear you about Ismael. He can have lots of kids too. It'll be great!"
21. "And Sarah's going to be knocked up with Isaac by this time next year."
22. Then God left.
23. Now Abraham had been having kids all along, just not with Sarah, who already had the one, Ismael, so they'd both been around the block. Abraham had obviously been with lots of Hookers because there were lots of boys running around. He whacked every single one.
24. And at 99 years of age, he circumcised himself (which I just can't imagine!)
25. Ismael was 13, much older than the 8 days God had instructed the old man to circumcise his sons at but ...
26. Pissed off at how much it hurt, he grabs Ismael and whacks his pee pee next ... POST PUBERTY! (CAN YOU SAY "OOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHHH"?????")
27. And Abraham was like Slingblade, whacking penises one after the other. It didn't matter who they were. (While this was going on , God was nowhere around).

If you don't believe it, read it for yourself in whichever version of the Bible you like best!
_________________________________

Interested in becoming a better writer. Start now by enrolling as part of a select group to work exclusively with me beginning in November 2013 at http://www.meellc.com/wordpress/writingworkshop/

You're Rich too!

"I'm so broke," he says with a smile taking the seat across from me.

"I've got to pay the rent," he continues waving a white envelope in the air. "I'm only $100 shy."

His landlord strolls to the outside table where we're sitting. She's elderly with wild white hair and hugs me and then him.

Handing her the envelope he explains, "I still owe you $100 from last month and I'm a $100 shy for this month too but I'll make it up when I get well."

Flashing a Cheshire smile she nods, "It's OK. How're you feeling?"

He smiles and holds up his cane. "Better everyday."

She nods and looks at me. "How's your mother?"

A thousand years ago they'd worked together.

"She's great," I reply. "I was with her over the weekend."

"Good, you tell her I said hello," as she turns back to him, "and you take care of yourself."

She leaves us alone sitting at the plastic table under an umbrella with a book and my papers spread over it. A basket of shrimp arrives and I offer him some but he declines saying he has to leave.

Standing, he smiles as we embrace and he hobbles away.

I sigh as I sit back down.

"Blessed are the poor for everything God has will be yours," Jesus said and it makes me wonder.

No longer hungry, I push the basket away and take a sip of wine. The sun rains warmth down on me as I stick my bare feet in a chair looking at the deep blue sky. An ocean breeze blows cool from the north as I take my sunglasses off and rub my eyes trying not to think with my head but with my heart.

A couple enters the patio ordering Bloody Mary's and steamed oysters. Sad country music plays from speakers suspended overhead. The bartender sticks his head out and gives me a thumbs up and I nod to let him know I'm fine.

"Blessed are the poor ... MY ASS!" erupts from my heart. "Poor sucks!"

A flock of seagulls squawk circling overhead admiring the shrimp basket. The couple slurp oysters. All is calm. All is bright.

Then my head kicks in responding to my heart. "Blessed are the kind ... because they find kindness" and it makes me wonder about Karma.

A beer commercial comes on the television suspended overhead. The sound is turned off but I watch the "most interesting man in the world" do fabulous things before topping it off with a Dos Equis beer. I stare at it.

I know what it's like to be broke. I've been poor and been surrounded by others poorer than me. I've witnessed incredible acts of kindness and horrible indifference ... often by the most righteous of people. I've been abandoned and been found again too so I pause, tap my chest and blow a kiss to Sarah whose spending the day off island. I ponder these things and take another sip of wine.

A seagull flies down and steals a shrimp.

Grabbing my I-phone I update my status. "Sometimes God kidnaps your day. Like today. You know that Beer commercial with the most interesting man in the world. That's bullshit! It's me."

The bartender changes the radio station and "The Beatles" preach "Baby you're a rich man too."

___________________________________________

Interested in being a better writer? You can beginning in November through personal coaching. Check it out at http://www.meellc.com/wordpress/writingworkshop/