To Hell with ... Hell!

If Hell is as hot as it is right now I won't have any problem acclimating.

Besides I've already been to Hell and it's not all that.

I know ... I know ... my conservative friends are saying, "Oh you just wait till you die and really go to Hell! Then you'll know what it's really all about?"

Whatev's ...

It's funny when I write about religion because while lots of people read it, no one's really got much to say ... except ... that I'm going to Hell.

Nobody ever holds up a finger and yells, "GO TO HEAVEN!"

They stick up a particular finger yelling "GO TO HELL!"

When did Hell become so popular?

"Go to Heaven for the climate," Mark Twain quips. "Hell for the company."

"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the Saints," Bill Joel adds.

I resonate with both sentiments.

Besides I don't have to go to Hell.

It comes to me.

"Hell is portable," Guy Sayles once told me. "You don't have to go to it. It comes to you."

I think most people, even the conservative ones, can agree on that.

If others aren't putting us through Hell ... we're perfectly capable of doing it ourselves.

And the sad fact is ... WE DO!

Satan's got to have the easiest job in the world!

Well, I'm not having anything to do with it and as far as I'm concerned, Satan can go straight to Hell ... though I'm not sure that makes any sense.

The point is we're all pretty hard on ourselves ... and that makes no sense either!

Why in the Hell do we beat ourselves up when we'll really just doing the best we can?

So ... to Hell with Hell!

I'm going to enjoy the Hell out of today!

I'm not going to give myself Hell and, to the best of my ability, I'm not going to give anybody else Hell either.

I am just going to enjoy myself ... who I'm with ... where I'm at ... what I'm doing ... the temperature ... the absence of shoes ... or clothes ... the conviction God loves me ... flowers are blooming ... my friends are doing okay ... and I feel pretty good.

You know ... without Hell ... it's pretty heavenly.

Who Cares?

Most people get lost in thought.

I get lost in feelings.

It's easy for me to laugh, cry, joke or slide off into an alternative universe of emotions where there is no time.

It's very Monk-like in that I'll be thinking about something before I realize I'm staring at the sunlight shinning on green leaves dancing in the breeze.

How did 30 minutes just pass?

Where was I?

Did Scotty beam me up and back down again?

Was that prayer?

I'll give you an example.

Several years ago I was invited to the LBJ School of Public Policy at the University of Texas in Austin (a most beautiful college campus) and a really lovely town.

I was to share the stage with the head the Texas head of Public Health, the School's Dean of Public Policy and others ... it was a big deal.

I impressed upon the school that if they were going to pay for me to come all that way and if they anted the whole story, they should also invite Peter Doliber from Memorial Health University Medical Center.

We were doing great stuff at the time.

So they invited Peter too.

The Lyndon Baines Johnson (LBJ) School is a freaking cool place, especially the replica of his office when he was President!

I was mesmerized by the red phone on his desk with one button on it pressed only to use nuclear bombs to destroy the world.

Anyway, Peter and I killed them that day.

"Well," the Dean said after the session, "you certainly were ..." as he struggles to find the right word, "entertaining."

It was a great day!

It was also a long time ago and a lot's happened since.

Peter's back home in the Northeast being in charge of something and I'm a happily married beach bum coping with three little girls.

But I just spent 30 minutes in an alternative universe feeling those things again.

When Scotty beams me back down I'm full of emotion and wonder if Peter ever thinks about these things.

Isn't it funny how you do nice things for people in life and they don't remember?

Or care.

It's funny in a sad sort of way.

The next thing I know I'm staring at the sunlight illuminating the thousand shades of green dancing in the breeze with tear drops of purple Wisteria falling on them.

Suddenly I'm aware that Neil Young is reminding me that "Yes only love can break your heart."

"Hmmm," I mutter out loud and I wish Sarah was home.

What Good Are You?

I remember watching President Kennedy's funeral and Jack Ruby shoot Lee Harvey Oswald.

When Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed my Dad brought home a pamphlet titled "The Three greatest men in History". On the cover was Jesus Christ, Abraham Lincoln and Dr. King.

I can still picture Robert Kennedy lying on the floor in a puddle of blood when he was shot several months later.

Howard Cosell told me John Lennon was murdered as I watched Monday Night Football.

On September 11, I was in the dining room where a television showed the planes crashing into the twin towers trying to calm down mentally ill people who were scared to death they were next.

More than I care to remember, I've witnessed people do cruel things to others with no care at all.

I've seen tsunamis, Hurricanes, Tornados, Flash Floods and all manners of weather kill people.

I've been inside crack houses trying to woo people out, held the hands of men dying from AIDS, was vilified for trying to help the mentally ill and have received enough "Hate Mail" to last the rest of my life.

I've seen all manner of evil ... not just spoken words ... but hideous actions.  

"We didn't start the fire," Billy Joel reminds us.

It's been burning since Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden of Eden.

Yet I still believe good always trumps evil, light drives away darkness, kindness is more powerful than cruelty and love reigns supreme.

I believe in Karma and eventually terrible things happen to bad people. Those struggling to do good things are eventually blessed with goodness.

I believe in second chances, Angels and most everyone I meet.

I seen Heaven and I've seen Hell in this life.

I don't believe we wait until death comes to experience either.

Life has an incredible ability to keep making itself over. I'm a much different person than I was a decade ago.  I'm calmer, happier, very much in love, content and at peace with most everything I've done so far.  I've been born again, reincarnated and evolved from what I was before.

I don't care what people say about my beliefs. I've heard it all before anyway. These things are the core of who I am now and I'm sure as hell not going backwards.

No, we didn't start the fire but I can use it for good things or for bad.

I choose good.
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There still time to register for "Doing the Right Things for you" my online class that begins in December. Just click to www.meellc.com/onlineclass

What's wrong with the Church.

The purpose of church is so people can get together and remind themselves to think about something other than themselves.

Most churches fail miserably!

We take ourselves to church often knowing what we want to get out of it before we get there.

We want God to do this or that ... heal something we can't manage ourselves ... forgive us when we can't forgive ourselves and curse those we can't forgive ... we seek refuge from guilt, fear and loneliness.

Or we come for the entertainment!

We want good music ... funny sermons that can also make you cry ... great people watching ... wonderful gossip ... fervent political rhetoric ... opportunities to pass judgment ... to be part of a mob.

We go to church with so much agenda!

God help the clergy because most try to deliver on all of these things. They script the service with the precision of a Broadway musical or a military campaign. They ensure their people have the latest popular trend in worship ... excellent sound systems, large flat head television screens so everyone can see, elegant robes and mood lighting. They steal blindly from their peers for the best material. Some even orchestrate valet parking.

Often the result resembles an addiction. The junkies want their fixes and the minister is happy to serve them as the dealer.

Lenny Bruce, of all people, once quipped, "Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God."

It's little wonder.

Love God like you love yourself. And love others like you love yourself.

That's what it's suppose to be about.

It's a shame its about so many other things.

Snipers on the High Road

"He's the biggest Son-of-a-bitch I've ever met," I angrily said.

"He says the same thing about you," was the quick reply.

Peter Doliber and I were having lunch, talking about things we'd done and people we'd worked with back when we did a lot of work together. For several years our friendship grew, based on common work and compatible personalities, and we were truly fond of each other. Then Peter moved onto other work and I did too. There's not much of a relationship anymore. Over lunch we were reaching into the past but not making it very far.

Our conversation focused on things that had gone wrong. Though we had accomplished groundbreaking things together in health care, housing and mental health services we both focused on scars we still have, unresolved anger that still eats away.

By nature, I am not an angry person. I rarely get mad figuring the anger is one of the Seven Deadly Sins for a reason. It is true however there are a few people who hurt me beyond my ability to understand why, leaving me wounded. While I can still name them, I choose to not think about them. They no longer merit my energies. I'd rather focus on other, happier, things.

Sometimes at night, these people and the things we did to one another, scurry on the fringes of my dreams but when I awake I dismiss them quickly. There are too many good things I prefer to think about.

I'm a contemplative soul by nature, enjoying sitting on the beloved back deck with my feet propped up on the rail, music in my ear, watching the stars and smelling the ocean. Occasionally the angry people kidnap my prayers and as soon as I am conscious that I'm giving them room in my life, I cast them out like demons.

I write about the past a lot but I certainly don't live in it. That was then. This is now. I delight in my three grown children and live with three little girls. My resume is full of things I'm proud of but I'm much more excited about the things I do now. While I still have scars from old wounds, I've survived them and enjoy my life.  I live with and love my best friend who happens to be incredibly lovely.

These are the things I give myself to now because its where I find joy. It's where love reigns; where laughter falls frequently; where contentment comes easy; and where happiness is achieved.

I know there are bad people in the world and I've met my fair share. They are angry people, snipers on the high roads of life, not giving a damn about anyone other than themselves. It's best to shy away from such people, in person as well as in my thoughts and dreams.

If there is a hell, it's made by the angry people who don't wait to die before going there.

Likewise, I'm not waiting for heaven either.

It's here now for the taking.