Visiting with my Grandma

On a bitterly cold day my Grandma Carver and I are zipping in a Golf cart through the marsh near the sea.

She's bundled so tightly I can only see the water dripping out her eyes beneath her glasses.

We wanted some time alone and there were too many people at my folks house so we just disappeared.

I was in Seminary then, working as a "Professional Christian" at the Jefferson Street Baptist Chapel in Louisville, Kentucky and was home for the holidays.

My Grandmother had the incredible of laser focusing love so that you knew without a shadow of a doubt you were the most special person ever born.

She unleashed her focused love on nine children, 37 grandchildren and several thousand great-grandchildren and beyond.

Granddaddy and Grandma took the Bible seriously and then they read "go forth and multiply" ... they did!

If you asked each of us individually we'd all say they loved us the most.

They really knew how to love.

When Jesus said it's more blessed to give than receive, I think what he meant is the more love you give away ... the more you become.

I've always tried to follow my Grandparents example by giving a lot away.

I'm often told I shouldn't, at least for free, and I suppose its true though I fear I might be letting my Granddaddy and Grandma down somehow if I stopped.

Aside from tee shirts, I'm not much of a hoarder though I will stick things in the storage room and forget about them.

I don't know.

Grandma Carver's been talking to me a lot lately and, just like in that Golf cart on a brutal cold day with water streaming out of her eyes, she pats me on the leg and tells me she loves me.

Then she says how proud she and Granddaddy are of me.

"Keep doing what you're doing," I hear her plainly say sitting alone in the kitchen with Goddess fur rubbing my bare feet.

This is after she keep me up last night while I snuggled next to Sarah but Grandma's determined to tell me it's okay to stop being concerned about everybody else for a while.

"Love what you got," and I swear to God I feel her hand on top of mine resting on top of Sarah's.

"Stay focused on what you want," and I can see her eyes looking into mine.

"Give it your all," and then she takes her leave to visit my cousin Debbie, help Sheri clean a Chapel in Heaven, horseback with Ricky, fish with Uncle Fred or cut up with Uncle Bud and my Dad.

"Because that's how you get it all," and Grandma and Jesus and great crowd of others leave Sarah and I sleeping alone in what we got.

Awesome you are!

"Awesome you are," is the first message I see on my Facebook page.

My friend Kyle sent it in the middle of the night. I've done some "coaching" with him as he transforms his life into the things he loves rather what others want him to do.

It's a nice way to start the day.

Clicking over to LinkedIn I enter a conversation I started weeks ago. Every day new folks contribute something and I read this from Tim!

"I can honestly say that I have not seen the injustices that you have seen or done half the good things (You know what they say about good intentions); however, I do believe that you were where you were meant to be at those times and that there is no way on Earth you could experience all that and not be changed."

Blown away I have to sit back!

Something special seems to be happening and I try to give it the space it deserves.

I have many friends and family members going through major life changes. Some transformations are wanted though others were completely uninvited. Babies are born, divorces devastate, jobs trap friends into sustaining without enjoying and God is content to keep quiet.

I make time to send these folks love, support and good Karma. They're family or clients and I'm intensely focused on them. As Tim explains, I'm where I am meant to be at this time and the things I'm experiencing keep changing me."

"You blessed many people by your actions or just by being present," is the next message.

I think we are all either a blessing or a curse to one another.

Blessing requires deliberation and action. We get off our ass and do something for someone while cursing means not giving a damn and we don't do anything. I prefer the blessing activities.

"We all are effected in some way by what we experience, it's what choice we make with those changes that determine how we grow and who we are from that point on," is the last part.

I turn the computer off and prop my feet on the railing of the back deck.

Over the past few years, I've had a hand in friends learning from experiences and making choices to change and grow beyond what they've always known. We've communicated, visited and had prolonged conversations where I was the one who believed in them.

I think more than anything else ... what's most important to us ... is too physically and spiritually have someone who believes in us when we struggle to believe in ourselves. We need someone whose "been there and done that" and will hold our hands in the dark places.

The fact of the matter, you are awesome!

Even awesome people need someone to believe in them when they struggle believing in themselves!

It's okay!

Now is the time for you to embrace how awesome you are!

It begins when you start doing things for you! Like having someone who believes in you!

Like now!

A New Journey Begins!

For almost four years I've posted a song title as my status update on Facebook trying to never repeat a title. I immensely enjoy friends responses ... sometimes quoting lyrics, asking questions or searching for hidden messages.

I've also daily posted a blog or Facebook note. This has been enriching as a consistent community of followers was born. You found things to identify with, laugh at or be spurred to debate or discovery.

I went through seismic changes in my life. Suddenly single turned into marvelously married. An empty nest is now full. Countless jaunts to St. Martin dwindled as new destinations emerge. A house became a home. Dead ends are endless possibilities.

Professionally I morphed from successful CEO to full time Beach Bum; international consultant to partnering with my wife Sarah in Micheal Elliott Enterprises "growing hope" for people needing more in their lives through coaching and encouragement.

My 9th book Sandy Bottoms and Duct Taped Hearts is out and the feedback is GREAT!

The 10th, a children's book illustrated by Eddie Woods is being released in a few months. Winston, The Little Gay Dog is a loving look at my family, acceptance in a Judgmental world and being yourself in the end!

Now there are new worlds to explore!

You've followed my changes and accomplishments as I'm pretty transparent about it. It's been cathartic for me and I'm happy you find it encouraging, humorous and useful.

BUT ... All Things Must Pass.

Change blows in the Palm Trees and it's time for them to carry us to new seas!

The daily song titles and postings will soon fade like the setting sun on the Back River.

Replacing them are new opportunities for those seeking inspiration, encouragement, laughter and community!

Like getting married under a full moon on the beach or cliff diving from 45 feet in the Caribbean, it's a little scary but pretty damn exhilarating!  That's how all great things in life start!

So stay with me as this journey!

We're going to have fun!!

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Follow the journey at www.facebook.com/micheal.elliott1 and liking it or at www.meellc.com

Half Truths or Happiness?

"You're crazy," he said pointing a television camera in my face, "you're one of those people who can talk about anything for 5 minutes."

I laughed and shrugged my shoulders.

"Seriously," he pressed, "I could say ... I don't know ... nuclear fusion ... and you'd talk for 5 minutes before I'd realize you're just making shit up."

Jodee Sadowsky stifles a laugh.

We were in Jodee's popular restaurant The Breakfast Club, after hours as I was being interviewed for a PBS documentary on lighthouses and he'd agreed to host it to promote his business. He and his brother Nick were busy prepping for the next day.

"When I make love," I reply without cracking a smile, "I like to split the photons from my neutrons creating a nuclear explosion."

Everyone burst out laughing.

"Even my neighbors are blown away," I continue though the camera is laying on the table as the crew wipe tears of laughter from his eyes.

I've always had a good rapport with the Press.

I speak their language ... half truths and made up shit occasionally dressed in absolute truth.

I learned how to do it in Seminary, somewhere between Hebrew and Greek was "Bullshit."

These days I shy away from such things. "Politics is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings," said Samuel Johnson and I concur.

"The people want pastors, not clergy acting like bureaucrats and Government officials," says Pope Frances I and I agree with him too.

"Whoever controls the media, controls the mind," proclaimed the Prophet Jim Morrison and I think he's right too because there's some crazy people in charge of the news ... any News!!

Politics, "Professional Christianity" and the Media was my life for decades, and though I can still do it all with the best of them, I've ended up in a quieter world.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," is pretty much how I go about things now.

"The world will be saved one neighbor at a time," is how it's put in the Talmud and that's what Sarah and I do for a living.

I like where I am now much more than before. It's a happy place where nothing's made up anymore. Even when sad things happen, they're accepted in love and truth. It is what it is. We love you. And that's the truth.

It's better that way.

Besides, the great interview I did about the Lighthouse ended up on the cutting room floor, though The Breakfast Club was mentioned.
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The Holidays are here? Are you ready to survive them? Join our journey to "Do the Right things for you!" beginning in December by registering at www.meellc.com/onlingclass

The Ingridents for Happiness

Love is rare
Life is strange
Nothing lasts
People change

These lines from a wonderful song, "Old Friend" performed by Michael Feinstein, is beautifully melodious and sang as though one friend talks to another.

They're in a bar after one's relationship falls apart and the other is listening to the sad tale.

Everything sung in the chorus is an absolute truth!

Love comes and goes, bursts into brilliance or burns out slowly, sometimes lingering forever or may abruptly leave. You have to "Make Love", meaning it takes two which is tricky because often it's only one working on it while the other takes advantage. One day you wake up and realize you really are in love or ... you've merely been taken advantage of. Love really is rare.

Life is certainly strange. Just when you think you've figured it out you're jerked in another direction. It's chock full of surprises, unexpected opportunities and tragic things. Sometimes it's funny, boring, hurtful, lonely, or shocking though it has a definite ending that catches us all by surprise. None of us know how much life we have so no one's prepared when it stops.

Nothing last! "All things must pass," sang the Major Prophet George Harrison. Sunrises, sunsets, days, weeks, and years all slip away. Friends don't last, marriages end one way or another, churches go out of business, Governments crumble, the binding in books crack and stars and planets eventually die.

For sure, people change. I'm not who I once was though there's a funny quirk that I  think everyone else should stay the same. We don't! The best of us grow and keep at it right up until we die. Others get stuck even as they long for something different. Change takes courage, the ability to throw caution to the wind and a hearty dose of foolishness. The funny thing is even if we work out hardest to keep everything as it is, people still change.

But ... love ... life ... appreciating what we've got ... the friends we have ... those are the ingredients for happiness.

The trick is mixing them in the right proportions.

The other trick is to keep baking new cakes. You've got to always be mixing and remixing your love, life, accepting what and where you're at, and knowing who your friends are ... or unhappiness grows.

Take a moment now and do an inventory. Who do you love? What's strange about your life? What are the things important to you these days? Who are your friends?

Then throw in pinches of yourself and mix your happiness for today.

And do it again tomorrow!
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There still time to register for "Doing the Right Things for you" my online class that begins in December. Just click to www.meellc.com/onlineclass

What Good Are You?

I remember watching President Kennedy's funeral and Jack Ruby shoot Lee Harvey Oswald.

When Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed my Dad brought home a pamphlet titled "The Three greatest men in History". On the cover was Jesus Christ, Abraham Lincoln and Dr. King.

I can still picture Robert Kennedy lying on the floor in a puddle of blood when he was shot several months later.

Howard Cosell told me John Lennon was murdered as I watched Monday Night Football.

On September 11, I was in the dining room where a television showed the planes crashing into the twin towers trying to calm down mentally ill people who were scared to death they were next.

More than I care to remember, I've witnessed people do cruel things to others with no care at all.

I've seen tsunamis, Hurricanes, Tornados, Flash Floods and all manners of weather kill people.

I've been inside crack houses trying to woo people out, held the hands of men dying from AIDS, was vilified for trying to help the mentally ill and have received enough "Hate Mail" to last the rest of my life.

I've seen all manner of evil ... not just spoken words ... but hideous actions.  

"We didn't start the fire," Billy Joel reminds us.

It's been burning since Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden of Eden.

Yet I still believe good always trumps evil, light drives away darkness, kindness is more powerful than cruelty and love reigns supreme.

I believe in Karma and eventually terrible things happen to bad people. Those struggling to do good things are eventually blessed with goodness.

I believe in second chances, Angels and most everyone I meet.

I seen Heaven and I've seen Hell in this life.

I don't believe we wait until death comes to experience either.

Life has an incredible ability to keep making itself over. I'm a much different person than I was a decade ago.  I'm calmer, happier, very much in love, content and at peace with most everything I've done so far.  I've been born again, reincarnated and evolved from what I was before.

I don't care what people say about my beliefs. I've heard it all before anyway. These things are the core of who I am now and I'm sure as hell not going backwards.

No, we didn't start the fire but I can use it for good things or for bad.

I choose good.
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There still time to register for "Doing the Right Things for you" my online class that begins in December. Just click to www.meellc.com/onlineclass

The Day my Life Began

I rarely tell this story, because honestly, it makes me look crazy.

But, here you go ...

It was a wonderful, sunny day on the Caribbean Island of St. Martin. I was alone, standing on the powder white sand of the beach, watching the waves break on the reef.

Taking a deep sigh, I tried to relax for the first time in hours.

I'd been working since 5 a.m. when the sun rose and hadn't stopped until now. It was 1:30 in the afternoon.

Hungry and tired, I needed to eat so I walked back to my tiny studio to get money and clothes and saw my phone buzzing.

Answering, it was the board chair, back in the states, making more demands of me.

He had already proven to be one of my life's major irritants. Regardless of what I did, he thought it wrong and said so. The only language he speaks is "criticism" and boy had he given me lots!

Professionally I was on top of the world, an internationally sought after expert, author, popular speaker and award winning business man.

Personally, I was recently divorced, lived alone with my dog and hated the smell of my plush office because it just made me tired. That's why I was in St. Martin, trying to get away from the sad things in my life.

"You should quit," he said when I answered the phone.

"I resign," I replied and hung up.

And my life started over that day.

Strolling back to the beach with a beer in my hand, I made a promise to myself.

"I will be happy. And I will help others be happy too. I'll do what I want. And I'll help others do what they really want too."

Let me tell you what's happened since then.

I'm married to the love of my life! Our work is helping people enjoys theirs too! We worked hard helping others to build happy lives, doing what they want and ENJOYING what they have.

It works!

Thousands of people follow the stories and are remaking their lives too!

I'm not telling you this to make you think I'm awesome or great but I want you to realize the steps I took from being a very unhappy survivor of life to make it crank now!

If you're ready to have the happy life you want, I am here, willing to pull back the curtain and show you exactly how to get there!

We've turned it into a system that gets you from where you are to where you really want to be in a very short period of time!

But there are some ground rules.

1. I'll be completely honest with you about my shit and expect you to be honest about yours. Honestly saying where you're at and honestly knowing where you want to be is the first steps to happiness. I'm here with you for each step. You got anybody else pledging you honesty?

2. I worked hard to get here. You will have to work hard too. You know the saying "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink." It's the same here. I'm ready to work with you, be your partner and get you there but you have to want it AND in the end YOU HAVE TO DO IT!

Ready to get started?

Let's pull the curtain back and this journey begins! I'll show you how to get where you really want to be at www.meellc.com/onlineclass

You are Great!

The eight year old boy shuffles into the kitchen wiping snot from his nose and crying. He'd been playing in the vacant lot when a fight broke out and he ended up on the wrong side of the bigger boys who knocked him to the ground and kicked him.

"What's wrong?" his mother asks, dropping the dish rag she's holding in front of the kitchen sink. Dropping to one knee, she embraces him at his level, blue eyes blazing into his wet ones.

Eventually, he explains and blames himself for being too small, not smart enough nor quick enough to outrun them.

She picks him up and sets him on the kitchen table, dirty bare feet dangling in the air. Cupping his face in her hands, staring fiercely in his eyes so he has no choice but to stare back, she says, "You are going to be great? Do you understand that? You are the greatest!"

He stops crying, sucks snot back up his nose and nods his head.

"You are going to be great," she repeats before hugging him and cleaning his face.

In the years that follow, she does it again and again. They were always alone and she grabs him setting him on the kitchen table, cups his chin with blue eyes blazing into blue eyes, "You ... are ... going to be ... great!"

After a while, he knew it to be true.

And I went on to do great things having a long career selling homelessness, AIDS, addiction and health care to those who could afford to eradicate such things. I raised millions of dollars from people and Governments who really didn't care about homeless people, people with AIDS, addicts and the uninsured. I became an award winning author, sought after speaker and renown expert.

I also learned to blow my nose without help.

Many people think I've retired and am living the good life at the beach with Sarah my wife.

It's true Sarah and I are living a good life at the beach but we're also working hard doing the things I've always done. Instead of exclusively giving hope and success to the sick and the poor, I'm now helping everyone! I write daily blogs that inspire, books that challenge, online classes transform lives and personally coach helping to meet goals and achieve dreams.

"I would have never left had it not been for you," a retired teacher says. "I'd settled for a life I didn't want with a man I didn't love. Now I'm doing what I want and loving it!"

"One month in your class," a minister writes, "was more productive than paying for years in therapy."

"Thanks for helping me become a speaker and writer," a successful musician explains. "I had to get out the bars! Now I'm playing and speaking throughout the southeast in places I really want to be."

I'm too busy to retire because right now I'm looking you in the eye ... my blue eyes on you ... affirming the things you desire ... and I have something to tell you ... "You're great! Do you understand that? You're the greatest!"
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You can register for upcoming on line classes at  http://www.meellc.com/wordpress/onlineclass/

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A Bad Start to a Great Day

I watched him stare at the newspaper in the box through the large plate glass windows of The Breakfast Club. He dug in his pockets for quarters, saw the price is now a dollar instead of 75 cents, made a face, and stuck the change back in his pants. His short white hair and closely cropped  white beard made him look like a tall thin Santa Claus dressed for vacation. Tropical shirt, jams and flip flops were a stark contrast to his pasty white skin.

Looking up he saw me sitting sipping coffee. Quickly glancing at the others waiting for the restaurant to open, he looked back at me. He had a wondering look on his face. "How do you get to ..."

"Shit!" I thought to myself. "He's going to sit by me."

Caroline unlocked the doors and the explosion of people is shocking as they rush inside quickly filling the booths and sliding onto the stools of the counter so they can watch the four person ballet of cooks do magic on the grill.

He strolls in at the end of the rush and sits beside me.

"Micheal," he says in a measured and formal way.

"Gordon," I nod, not caring one way or the other.

After ordering coffee, he asked if I was finished with the newspaper and I slid it in front of him saying, "Nothing happened yesterday."

Greedily he took it and there was an awkward silence.

"How's The Starfish Café doing?" he asked.

"How would I know?" I answered.

The Starfish Café is a working restaurant that's also a culinary arts training program for homeless people that I helped start. It was quickly recognized for its innovation and was profiled on the TODAY Show, CNN and featured in national and regional magazines. The last time I was there my wife, Sarah, ran it but that was three years ago.

He took a sip of coffee while staring straight ahead. I remembered when he was the Treasurer of my Board of Directors. It had been a wild ride. I was on fire writing grants and raising money and millions of dollars were pouring into Union Mission. He oversaw the spending. Together we built a massive infrastructure of services unlike any in the nation.

"You still doing the homeless?" he asked condescendingly.

"I don't have too," I said, "they're fucked enough already."

The thinnest of smiles graced his already thin lips.

Back in the day he walked into my office and told me we needed to stop. "It's growing too fast," he explained. "You're taking it in directions that have nothing to do with our mission. Why are we building housing for people with AIDS? What does health care have to do with homelessness? Why are we building a health care center? I'm telling you we don't need to do anything new for the next few years."

I remember looking at him as though he were possessed by Satan himself. Homelessness had been reduced by 54% and I wasn't going to stop until the job was done.

"You were always good at politics," he said. "You still doing that?"

"They're all the same," I shot back. "None are any better than the other. They can all go to hell."

He started to protest. "But what about Jack? He's a nice guy."

"I don't have to do this anymore," I told myself.

"Bye Gordon," I said standing up.

"But ..." he said.

And I walked outside, got on my bicycle, coasting down Tybrissa Street to the ocean, basking in the sunshine of a glorious day.