She was a black girl wearing a white bikini.
“Why don’t you take the plunge and just move here,” she asked me. “I did six months ago and I love it. You will too.”
“Hmmmm,” I mumbled.
It’s actually something that I’ve almost done on several occasions. My rebel streak, love of Hemingway, Jimmy Bufffett, Bob Marley, sunshine, ocean and commitment to sand as a lifestyle had led me to seriously contemplate expatriating from the United States and moving permanently to St. Martin.
Then last year when I found myself alone, left a career and I would spend time thinking, “Well Why Not”?
I could work from here. All I need is an airport, cell phone and lap top with Internet connection. Why not?
But then again … something changed in me over the last several months.
Last June I was here and stayed and stayed thanks to Keller Deal. When I finally went home again there were these people waiting on me. My kids, Johnny O and Judy, Keller Deal, Sarah, Shirley … They were all worried about how I would be and, truth be told I wasn’t all that great. But they were there for me when I desperately needed someone there for me.
And there was Goddess loving me through the loneliest of times.
Then I was here again in November and December with Conner and Hania but by then I was changing …
Fran was raised from the dead and reminded me how beautiful my world is. Old friends from college came back into my life bringing me joy. At the Breakfast Club hugs came back to me and at the Bored meeting I was coached back into laughing. Then Sam and Gordon got me going to Bar Church with some regularity and I was reminded of the community that I live in which is what church really is anyway.
Then there is this sad little holy dock that I’ve grown to love. And love found me there one night and … I changed.
Through the winter months I went everywhere … east coast to west coast and back again. In south Florida I was instructed to take my time and heal. Don’t rush. Rushing is the worst thing that you can do. And while it seemed like everyone else was telling me to hurry up I realized that I needed to just stop … and feel.
Then little things started to mean a lot again. Smiles came quickly over a lone red leaf still clinging to a tree outside my bedroom window, peanut butter and yellow boots; the daily gathering of the Bored to celebrate life on Tybee Island ... and time contemplating on a beloved back deck. Endless laughter with Dee that is so contagious we almost hurt ourselves.
I’ve been coming here for a decade now and love it. There are people I love that I want to share it with.
But …
It is not home.
And it won’t be.
My home …
Well …
I know where it is …
Yep …
I do …
And I’m going back to it today …
