My friend Wen told me this one after I'd told the story of Henrietta throwing the bread into Johnny O's brand new truck in the parking lot at Fannie's-On-The-Beach. Seagulls came from everywhere and soon the truck was covered in their shit and scratched up with the claws of their feet. Inside we'd watched all of this and laughed ourselves silly.
We were all at Wen's birthday party, drinking beers and telling stories while children ran like crazy around the deck at Huck-A-Poo's or The Poo, as it is known by the regulars.
Wen and her husband Sean and their family recently moved to Tybee and were immediately adopted into the Carnival of Friends or maybe they adopted us ... who knows? ... but now we are all one.
Wen is an incredible photographer, Sean does film and their kids give great hugs while being hilarious at the same time. Sean is now in the Bar Church Band ... though God told Sam to tell us to inexplicably take the day off today. You can never figure out God and Sam.
Anyway, Wen was shooting a wedding on the beach.
It was a gorgeous beach day ... the bride was beautiful ... the groom was beautiful ... their families were beautiful ... the rings were beautiful ... the trash produced by the gathering was beautiful ... the cigarette butts thrown into the powdery white sand were beautiful ... the ugliest person there had just passed the bar for beauty so everybody was beautiful ... THIS WAS ONE BEAUTIFUL WEDDING!
The beautiful bride and the beautiful groom decided to have Butterflies released as they became a beautiful wife and a beautiful husband because it would be ... BEAUTIFUL!
So the beautiful gathering held boxes with a butterfly inside.
No one could hear a damn thing because the trapped Butterflies were trying to break out of their captivity so it was a hundred boxes held by beautiful hands shaking, thumping and making a lot of noise.
Then the beautiful new wife kissed the beautiful new husband and the beautiful people opened the boxes.
The Butterflies flew towards heaven.
Everyone clapped.
It was gloriously beautiful.
Especially for the Seagulls.
They took flight and devoured every single Butterfly over the heads of the beautiful gathering.
Of course they also did what Seagulls do ... they shit!
... all over the beautiful wife, the beautiful husband, their beautiful families and the beautiful gathering ...
It was one shitty wedding!
But Wen's got pictures!
So, given a choice between Butterflies and Seagulls at your next wedding, I suggest opting for the Seagulls if you're at the beach.
